If you have looked high and low, left and right and even peaked around the corner and are starting to think that finding your perfect roommates is just not possible, think again. You can find the roommates you have been looking for by following the old saying "ask and you shall receive". Simply by asking the right questions, you can find the roommates that are right for you.
To be successful you will have to ask questions that help you to find out more about the people you are talking to about becoming a roommate - information that they may not tell you otherwise. This may involve asking some tough questions but its better to do it now rather than regret it later. Remember, you will need to live with your new roommates 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
By now you must be wondering what questions should I ask to find the perfect roommate. The questions you will need to ask will depend on whether you are looking for a room in an established household or are the one offering the room.
When you are offering a room, your questions will have to focus on whether the new roommate would fit in with you and other existing roommates. Here are some questions that you could ask that looks at the suitability of a person as a roommate.
1. Why are you looking for an apartment/house to share? 2. Have you lived with roommates before? 3. Do you like to entertain and have friends over? 4. Do you like to spend a lot of time at home or do you prefer to go out? 5. What kind of music do you like? Do have any hobbies or play sport? 6. What are your preferred food arrangements? 7. What would your ideal living arrangements be? 8. How would you contribute to the household? 9. What would you say would be your 3 worst habits? 10. What furniture would you be bringing? 11. How long would you intend to live here? 12. What are your future plans? 13. How much notice would you need to give before you could move in? 14. Would you be able to provide references, if needed?
When the tables are turned and you are looking for a room for yourself, the focal point of your questions will have to change. The questions you ask will help you decide whether or not you could live with existing habits and living patterns. Asking questions like the ones below will assist you when unlocking the real story to what lies behind closed doors.
1. How many people live here on a permanent and casual basis? 2. Do the people who live here like to do a lot of entertaining? 3. What are the arrangements when roommates want to entertain or have friends over? 4. Do the people living here, prefer to stay at home or go out? 5. What are the food and shopping arrangements? 6. How are decisions that affect everyone in the household made? 7. What are the responsibilities of each person living in the household? 8. What expenses make up the rent? Does it include electricity and water? 9. Are there any other expenses and if so, what are they and how much do they cost? 10. How often does the rent increase? Why has it increased in the past? 11. What happens to the bond that gets paid? 12. Who is responsible for the lease? 13. Is there any furniture in the room? 14. When would the room be available?
No matter what your current situation, remember the way to find your perfect roommates, is to ask the right questions at the right time. By preparing relevant questions before meeting potential roommates, you will find success and realize it is as easy as that saying "ask and you shall receive".
Good luck and happy roommate hunting!
Monday, July 2, 2007
Friday, June 15, 2007
How to Change Your Attitude Today!
Sure, it's easy to say, "Change your attitude and you'll change your life," but how do you do that if you don't know what to do? After all, if changing one's attitude was easy why don't more people do it? Especially if it means they could be happier, more joyful, and much more successful?
Honestly, I don't know. What I do know, however, is that changing one's attitude doesn't need to be difficult and, in fact, can be quite easy. . . . All you need is to consistently employ a few simple techniques and you'll be on your way. So, to get you started, here are my 10 tips to get you started on improving your attitude. Good luck!
1. Think like you want to be
It's tough to be happy, joyful, successful, etc. if you don't think that you are a happy, joyful, and successful person. Think it first, then do it!
2. Smile
There's no arguing with this one -- research has shown the smiling has both psychological and physiological effects. So, put a smile on your face and you'll be on your way to a change in attitude!
3. Immerse yourself
Read books, articles, magazines that help you understand and adopt the new attitude. Watch films or listen to music that inspires you and encourages you to change.
4. Change your actions
It's hard to change your attitude if you keep doing the same old stuff the same old way. Do things differently to start thinking differently.
5. Change your environment
Make your environment reflect the attitude you wish to have. Create the physical spaced that makes you eager to change.
6. Follow the leader
Find someone who already has the attitude you wish to have. Follow their lead, learn from their example.
7. Help others (and help yourself)
One of the fastest ways to change your attitude is to take the focus off yourself and to help others in need.
8. Get a little help from your friends
Let everyone know what you're doing and enlist their support to help you change and give you ideas. The more you feel like you're part of a group effort, the more likely you are to be successful.
9. Get a pro
If the change you desire to make is a big one or is extremely radical, consider getting the help of a mentor, counselor, or coach. These professionals can reduce the time & frustration involved as well as provide you with many new ideas to help you grow.
10. Be patient
Recognize that most changes occur slowly, over an extended period of time. If you don't get immediate results, don't be surprised and DON'T QUIT! Keep working, it'll come.
Honestly, I don't know. What I do know, however, is that changing one's attitude doesn't need to be difficult and, in fact, can be quite easy. . . . All you need is to consistently employ a few simple techniques and you'll be on your way. So, to get you started, here are my 10 tips to get you started on improving your attitude. Good luck!
1. Think like you want to be
It's tough to be happy, joyful, successful, etc. if you don't think that you are a happy, joyful, and successful person. Think it first, then do it!
2. Smile
There's no arguing with this one -- research has shown the smiling has both psychological and physiological effects. So, put a smile on your face and you'll be on your way to a change in attitude!
3. Immerse yourself
Read books, articles, magazines that help you understand and adopt the new attitude. Watch films or listen to music that inspires you and encourages you to change.
4. Change your actions
It's hard to change your attitude if you keep doing the same old stuff the same old way. Do things differently to start thinking differently.
5. Change your environment
Make your environment reflect the attitude you wish to have. Create the physical spaced that makes you eager to change.
6. Follow the leader
Find someone who already has the attitude you wish to have. Follow their lead, learn from their example.
7. Help others (and help yourself)
One of the fastest ways to change your attitude is to take the focus off yourself and to help others in need.
8. Get a little help from your friends
Let everyone know what you're doing and enlist their support to help you change and give you ideas. The more you feel like you're part of a group effort, the more likely you are to be successful.
9. Get a pro
If the change you desire to make is a big one or is extremely radical, consider getting the help of a mentor, counselor, or coach. These professionals can reduce the time & frustration involved as well as provide you with many new ideas to help you grow.
10. Be patient
Recognize that most changes occur slowly, over an extended period of time. If you don't get immediate results, don't be surprised and DON'T QUIT! Keep working, it'll come.
Your Mindset Determines Your Life
Your Mindset Determines Your Life by Sopan Greene, M.A. http://www.InspiredEnoughToChange.com
To keep at the top of your game you have to keep a clear head. You can't afford to fill up on news and negativity. The world's overflowin' with it and the only way to be a winner is to be in control of your thoughts.
Your thoughts become words, your words become actions and your actions become your destiny. Someone else came up with that, but I've always remembered it because it's true. Our actions show who we truly are and how shallow or deep our character is.
Where you are today is a direct reflection of the words, thoughts and actions you took days, months and years ago. No matter how much some people blame their parents,teachers, where they grew up, television, the government or anything else, the truth is that nobody got them where they are today but themselves. The longer we choose to not take responsibility for our lives, the longer we'll living uninspired lives that we don't love.
I've heard 40 year old adults who complain about their lives and take no responsiblility for what they've created. Give me a break. If you think you're on the recieving end of life you're mistaken and too lazy to do anything about it.
Simply think about the pictures you've seen on TV of people in third world countries. When I start to get mad about having to stand behind two people in a line at the grocery store I remind myself that a lot of people don't even know where their food will come from tonight. This shifts me from anger to gratitude.
The next time you notice yourself getting frustrated or angry about something in your life I invite you to shift your focus onto what's great in your life. It doesn't matter if you think you don't have enough money or you're mad at your dog for chewing up a shoe. Remember how much love you get from having your dog in the first place and how your weekly earnings are more than some people make in a month or year.
Keep your focus on what is working - for you and for others. We are bombarded with negative input all day long. We need to watch what goes in because our livlihoods depend on what we creatively crank out. Our heads need to be full of positive inspiration or free space where we can dream.
A recent study revealed that the people who watch the most television news are the most fearful in our society. Crime has been going down in America for over a decade, but since the news focuses on it and repeats it over and over, a lot of people are receiving multiple messages that the world isn't safe. These people end up being less confident and less successful as a result of being emotinally paralyzed to a degree by their fears.
Remember the old phrase "garbage in, garbage out"? If you Were asked to be on television based on the person you are today would be on Jerry Springer or Oprah?
Yeah, I know. You're probably laughing or snickering right now. I can practically see that questioning look of disbelief on your face.
You may even think that you wouldn't be on either one. Just imagine that there's a guy at your door and he's going to put you in a limo right now and you have to pick one show or the other to be a guest on or you'll be locked in your house for a month. (It's silly, but you get the point, I want you to get into it).
There's a definite difference between Oprah guests and Jerry's guests. Oprah's guests radiate confidence and have taken responsibility for their lives and have created lemonade out of lemons. Jerry's guests radiate low self esteem and think they're victims of life. Even worse, they think they have a right to inflict their negative self-defeating attitude on others.
Oprah people know that they're on the creative end of life. Jerry people choose to think they're on the receiving end of life. And the truth is that if that's what they beleive then thats what they get. It's an easy cop out to settle in life and a lot of folks do it.
It's important to keep a positive mental attitude nomatter what your life is like because nothing is more important than your thoughts. They determine how you'll experience the next minute, hour, day, week, year, decade and century. Rid your life of people and circumstances that don't inspire and enliven you. Life's simply too short to put up distracting drama and complainers who never change anything.
We all throw around phrases about how life is too short, but we don't live that way. Take at least one action today to reaffirm that you're creating a life you love.
Fire a friend who drains your energy. Read from an autobiography of a person who inspires you. Turn off the TV and write your goals and values. Take a walk in nature or with a friend who supports the best in you. Write a note to someone who has impacted your life in a positive way to let them know you're grateful for having them in your life. Rub your dog's belly and watch a doggy smile of ecstasy come out to greet you.
You're building a powerful future. Study successful people and you'll notice they all surround themselves with other inspired and successful people. Your life is your show, choose to be an Oprah person and aviod the Jerry people who show up in your life. Or better yet, treat the Jerry people you meet like they are the Oprah person buried inside them so we can all shine together.
Let your positive mental attitude infect everyone you meet and we'll all enjoy better lives.
----------------------------------------
=> Ready to Erich Your Life & Empower Your Spirit? <= Grab your FREE e-mail course: "How To Get Inspired Enough to Change??!" along with 2 FREE eBooks: "Inspired Enough to Change??: 8 True Stories About Real People" and "The Inspired Enough to Change?? Quiz" mailto:webmaster87-41205@autocontactor.com ----------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
About the author: Sopan is an author, mentor and teacher who is well loved and respected. Personal, compassionate, humorous, inspiring and full of innocent wonder; Sopan is skilled at working with people ready for change, raising their consciousness and upgrading their quality of life. His leading edge systems deliver results which many are joyfully choosing in today?s fearful, frustrating and stressful times. www.InspiredEnoughToChange.com
To keep at the top of your game you have to keep a clear head. You can't afford to fill up on news and negativity. The world's overflowin' with it and the only way to be a winner is to be in control of your thoughts.
Your thoughts become words, your words become actions and your actions become your destiny. Someone else came up with that, but I've always remembered it because it's true. Our actions show who we truly are and how shallow or deep our character is.
Where you are today is a direct reflection of the words, thoughts and actions you took days, months and years ago. No matter how much some people blame their parents,teachers, where they grew up, television, the government or anything else, the truth is that nobody got them where they are today but themselves. The longer we choose to not take responsibility for our lives, the longer we'll living uninspired lives that we don't love.
I've heard 40 year old adults who complain about their lives and take no responsiblility for what they've created. Give me a break. If you think you're on the recieving end of life you're mistaken and too lazy to do anything about it.
Simply think about the pictures you've seen on TV of people in third world countries. When I start to get mad about having to stand behind two people in a line at the grocery store I remind myself that a lot of people don't even know where their food will come from tonight. This shifts me from anger to gratitude.
The next time you notice yourself getting frustrated or angry about something in your life I invite you to shift your focus onto what's great in your life. It doesn't matter if you think you don't have enough money or you're mad at your dog for chewing up a shoe. Remember how much love you get from having your dog in the first place and how your weekly earnings are more than some people make in a month or year.
Keep your focus on what is working - for you and for others. We are bombarded with negative input all day long. We need to watch what goes in because our livlihoods depend on what we creatively crank out. Our heads need to be full of positive inspiration or free space where we can dream.
A recent study revealed that the people who watch the most television news are the most fearful in our society. Crime has been going down in America for over a decade, but since the news focuses on it and repeats it over and over, a lot of people are receiving multiple messages that the world isn't safe. These people end up being less confident and less successful as a result of being emotinally paralyzed to a degree by their fears.
Remember the old phrase "garbage in, garbage out"? If you Were asked to be on television based on the person you are today would be on Jerry Springer or Oprah?
Yeah, I know. You're probably laughing or snickering right now. I can practically see that questioning look of disbelief on your face.
You may even think that you wouldn't be on either one. Just imagine that there's a guy at your door and he's going to put you in a limo right now and you have to pick one show or the other to be a guest on or you'll be locked in your house for a month. (It's silly, but you get the point, I want you to get into it).
There's a definite difference between Oprah guests and Jerry's guests. Oprah's guests radiate confidence and have taken responsibility for their lives and have created lemonade out of lemons. Jerry's guests radiate low self esteem and think they're victims of life. Even worse, they think they have a right to inflict their negative self-defeating attitude on others.
Oprah people know that they're on the creative end of life. Jerry people choose to think they're on the receiving end of life. And the truth is that if that's what they beleive then thats what they get. It's an easy cop out to settle in life and a lot of folks do it.
It's important to keep a positive mental attitude nomatter what your life is like because nothing is more important than your thoughts. They determine how you'll experience the next minute, hour, day, week, year, decade and century. Rid your life of people and circumstances that don't inspire and enliven you. Life's simply too short to put up distracting drama and complainers who never change anything.
We all throw around phrases about how life is too short, but we don't live that way. Take at least one action today to reaffirm that you're creating a life you love.
Fire a friend who drains your energy. Read from an autobiography of a person who inspires you. Turn off the TV and write your goals and values. Take a walk in nature or with a friend who supports the best in you. Write a note to someone who has impacted your life in a positive way to let them know you're grateful for having them in your life. Rub your dog's belly and watch a doggy smile of ecstasy come out to greet you.
You're building a powerful future. Study successful people and you'll notice they all surround themselves with other inspired and successful people. Your life is your show, choose to be an Oprah person and aviod the Jerry people who show up in your life. Or better yet, treat the Jerry people you meet like they are the Oprah person buried inside them so we can all shine together.
Let your positive mental attitude infect everyone you meet and we'll all enjoy better lives.
----------------------------------------
=> Ready to Erich Your Life & Empower Your Spirit? <= Grab your FREE e-mail course: "How To Get Inspired Enough to Change??!" along with 2 FREE eBooks: "Inspired Enough to Change??: 8 True Stories About Real People" and "The Inspired Enough to Change?? Quiz" mailto:webmaster87-41205@autocontactor.com ----------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
About the author: Sopan is an author, mentor and teacher who is well loved and respected. Personal, compassionate, humorous, inspiring and full of innocent wonder; Sopan is skilled at working with people ready for change, raising their consciousness and upgrading their quality of life. His leading edge systems deliver results which many are joyfully choosing in today?s fearful, frustrating and stressful times. www.InspiredEnoughToChange.com
Thursday, June 14, 2007
One Person's Perspective
There has been this song, or at least a line of a song, rattling around in my mind this past week. I don't know for sure if it's from a Saturday morning cartoon, or Sesame Street or the Electric Company or where exactly I remember it from so many years ago.
The line is this: That's about the size, where you put your eyes? That's about the size of it. (It's a lot better sung than just reading it). If anyone knows where it is from, please let me know.
The song was about how we see things. About how differently objects appear depending on how close or how far away from them we are. It came to me Monday while I was out mowing the back yard. I started thinking about how small the yard seems today compared to when I was growing up.
Years ago, I would leap off the swing and begin running for the far end of the yard. Because it took so long to reach my destination, I would turn around half way and go back to the swing.
Today, there is almost nothing to it. Unless of course the temperature is 90 degrees, it has rained for a week straight, the grass is 2 feet tall, trees begin growing in the fences, the sun beats down brighter than ever before and the mower keeps clogging up because of it all. Then it is a huge yard.
It's all in how you look at it.
Speaking of how we see things, there is a danger in doing the same things the same way day after day. We become blinded to so much that is out there. Everything seems the same, looks the same, smells the same, goes by at the same pace, day--after day--after day.
We put ourselves into a sort of rut because we only see things in one way. While it makes us feel better to blame our job, our boss, our friends, our in-laws, the dog, telemarketers, co-workers, the weather, our pet rock or just because we were born under a bad sign for our life as it is, truth is, it has all been our choice.
Because in most cases, we have gotten ourselves into this, we can change it. To do it, we need to see things differently.
In Dead Poets Society, John Keating (played by Robin Williams) is an English teacher who wants to get his students to see life differently than they have.
To do so, he begins in a small way? by having them stand up on his desk in the classroom. It is just a classroom. The same classroom they have come to day after day. But seeing things from 29 inches off the ground can provide an entirely different view of the world.
Now I don't advise anyone to knock off everything from the dining room table and climb on top, just keep it simple. Take a different way to work, re-arrange furniture, change your routine a little bit. You'll be surprised at how different 1 hour can make things seem.
Finally, perception is something in which 650 words can not do justice. There is so much more to it than just seeing things differently, although that has a lot to do with it.
There are still our perceptions of ourselves, of our surroundings, of others, of what others think of us, of what we think others think of us and so many more combinations.
In a way, perception is who we are, who we can be, what we can do and where we can go. The best news? We have the power. We are in control. We can change it if we don't like what we see. As the song says, (and maybe a bit of a re-write can be used someday), that's about the size, where I put my eyes? that's about the size of that.
The line is this: That's about the size, where you put your eyes? That's about the size of it. (It's a lot better sung than just reading it). If anyone knows where it is from, please let me know.
The song was about how we see things. About how differently objects appear depending on how close or how far away from them we are. It came to me Monday while I was out mowing the back yard. I started thinking about how small the yard seems today compared to when I was growing up.
Years ago, I would leap off the swing and begin running for the far end of the yard. Because it took so long to reach my destination, I would turn around half way and go back to the swing.
Today, there is almost nothing to it. Unless of course the temperature is 90 degrees, it has rained for a week straight, the grass is 2 feet tall, trees begin growing in the fences, the sun beats down brighter than ever before and the mower keeps clogging up because of it all. Then it is a huge yard.
It's all in how you look at it.
Speaking of how we see things, there is a danger in doing the same things the same way day after day. We become blinded to so much that is out there. Everything seems the same, looks the same, smells the same, goes by at the same pace, day--after day--after day.
We put ourselves into a sort of rut because we only see things in one way. While it makes us feel better to blame our job, our boss, our friends, our in-laws, the dog, telemarketers, co-workers, the weather, our pet rock or just because we were born under a bad sign for our life as it is, truth is, it has all been our choice.
Because in most cases, we have gotten ourselves into this, we can change it. To do it, we need to see things differently.
In Dead Poets Society, John Keating (played by Robin Williams) is an English teacher who wants to get his students to see life differently than they have.
To do so, he begins in a small way? by having them stand up on his desk in the classroom. It is just a classroom. The same classroom they have come to day after day. But seeing things from 29 inches off the ground can provide an entirely different view of the world.
Now I don't advise anyone to knock off everything from the dining room table and climb on top, just keep it simple. Take a different way to work, re-arrange furniture, change your routine a little bit. You'll be surprised at how different 1 hour can make things seem.
Finally, perception is something in which 650 words can not do justice. There is so much more to it than just seeing things differently, although that has a lot to do with it.
There are still our perceptions of ourselves, of our surroundings, of others, of what others think of us, of what we think others think of us and so many more combinations.
In a way, perception is who we are, who we can be, what we can do and where we can go. The best news? We have the power. We are in control. We can change it if we don't like what we see. As the song says, (and maybe a bit of a re-write can be used someday), that's about the size, where I put my eyes? that's about the size of that.
On Failing To Discover The Meaning Of Life
We did not choose to be born. Without our permission, we were pitched into this world, to live out seventy or eighty years, to act out our unique scripts in life. Each of those millions of actions had a purpose. It achieved an objective. Just to pick up a cup of tea, or to become an accountant. Achieving objectives gave progressive meanings to our activities. The mason who felt he was just laying bricks was less satisfied than the one who believed he was building a cathedral. Finding deeper meanings satisfied us. So, it was but natural to gaze beyond our individual careers at the meaning of life itself. Greater satisfaction came from fulfilment of a nobler purpose.
Religion offered a a compelling vision of a divine and benevolent purpose. It acted in the best of all possible worlds, for the well being of all. If there was pain and distress, the beneficent deity had willed it to steel humanity to ever greater triumphs. Everything happened for the best. But, for a few people, there was a flaw in this view. Disaster was hardly necessary for improvement. The finest periods of creativity of the human race occurred during periods of peace and prosperity, not in times of famine and disease, or earthquakes and floods. It stretched credibility to believe that a hundred thousand people could be crushed in an earthquake for their own good. To sceptics, the world appeared iniquitous. But, they often avoided despair by accepting the random quality of life. For these, just fighting back gave meaning to life.
But, the religious sometimes failed to discover any visible benign purpose behind epic disasters. This troubled some. The sceptics, on the other hand, wondered if it was so weightily important to survive in the this all too brief span of time in this infinitesimally small speck in the universe. What was so special about survival, if the earth was to end a dead planet hurtling through black space? What was the purpose of all this suffering? Whatever their convictions, the search for a meaning in life troubled both the religious and the sceptics. In spite of their doubts, finding meaning was crucial.
The famed psychiatrist, Frankl, survived the horrors of the Nazi concentration camps, to narrate the dreaded moment, when a fellow prisoner ceased to struggle for life. Usually, the prisoner refused to go out on to the parade grounds. "He just lay there, hardly moving. No entreaties, no blows, no threats had any effect. He simply gave up. There he remained, lying in his own excreta, and nothing bothered him any more." His life had lost its meaning. Such people died soon after.
But, despite the meaningless torture and beatings, thousands of inmates still struggled against all odds to eke out a life. Frankl submitted that it was a purpose in life, whatever it was, which helped them to survive. These were not large purposes. A hope of meeting a son after the war was a purpose. Even a decision to harden oneself against suffering was a sufficient purpose. After the war, Frankl established a major field in psychiatry, assisting thousands of suicidal patients around the world to recover by discovering an acceptable purpose in life.
In reality, the need to find a purpose in life was built into our neural circuits. Emotions granted us short term purpose. Anger sought retribution; hunger, a search for food; fear a drive to escape. Each drive intelligently sought its own objective and rewarded its achievement with pleasure. The thrill one felt came from built in pleasure circuits fashioned by nature. Those circuits powered drives, which successfully achieved a range of survival activities in a complex and hostile world. The drive circuits carried within them a massive depth of experience and wisdom. The noblest goals of mankind and its most evil instincts were drives, inherited from millions of years of history. One of those drives was a search for meaning - an instinctual drive, like hunger.
Across history, mankind searched the heavens to discover meaning. Religions offered a wide range of possible meanings, each favouring a particular divine purpose. But, religion failed to find meaning in horrifying disasters. For the sceptic, without the support of religion, a fearful existence on a tiny planet appeared utterly pointless. Both suspected that life appeared to have no meaning. Where could we go from there? There was an answer. We had to understand this obsessive human need to find meaning. It was merely another instinctual drive. A craving. Such drives could be calmed. Just an awareness alone could still the need. After all, it was hardly so urgent to discover that cosmic meaning.
Freed from this need, it was easier to fit into society, contribute our mite and satisfy the demands of our minds. We could be content with discovering reasonable purposes. Frankl had proved that simpler purposes sufficiently enabled prisoners to withstand even the most meaningless excesses of life. Hunger did not demand that we gorge ourselves. A reasonable repast was sufficient to satisfy our craving. So also, it was hardly necessary to feast ourselves on understanding the global purpose of the universe. Just as there was little need to travel to a distant galaxy to satisfy our curiosity. It was enough to be happy with finding our own role in society.
Religion offered a a compelling vision of a divine and benevolent purpose. It acted in the best of all possible worlds, for the well being of all. If there was pain and distress, the beneficent deity had willed it to steel humanity to ever greater triumphs. Everything happened for the best. But, for a few people, there was a flaw in this view. Disaster was hardly necessary for improvement. The finest periods of creativity of the human race occurred during periods of peace and prosperity, not in times of famine and disease, or earthquakes and floods. It stretched credibility to believe that a hundred thousand people could be crushed in an earthquake for their own good. To sceptics, the world appeared iniquitous. But, they often avoided despair by accepting the random quality of life. For these, just fighting back gave meaning to life.
But, the religious sometimes failed to discover any visible benign purpose behind epic disasters. This troubled some. The sceptics, on the other hand, wondered if it was so weightily important to survive in the this all too brief span of time in this infinitesimally small speck in the universe. What was so special about survival, if the earth was to end a dead planet hurtling through black space? What was the purpose of all this suffering? Whatever their convictions, the search for a meaning in life troubled both the religious and the sceptics. In spite of their doubts, finding meaning was crucial.
The famed psychiatrist, Frankl, survived the horrors of the Nazi concentration camps, to narrate the dreaded moment, when a fellow prisoner ceased to struggle for life. Usually, the prisoner refused to go out on to the parade grounds. "He just lay there, hardly moving. No entreaties, no blows, no threats had any effect. He simply gave up. There he remained, lying in his own excreta, and nothing bothered him any more." His life had lost its meaning. Such people died soon after.
But, despite the meaningless torture and beatings, thousands of inmates still struggled against all odds to eke out a life. Frankl submitted that it was a purpose in life, whatever it was, which helped them to survive. These were not large purposes. A hope of meeting a son after the war was a purpose. Even a decision to harden oneself against suffering was a sufficient purpose. After the war, Frankl established a major field in psychiatry, assisting thousands of suicidal patients around the world to recover by discovering an acceptable purpose in life.
In reality, the need to find a purpose in life was built into our neural circuits. Emotions granted us short term purpose. Anger sought retribution; hunger, a search for food; fear a drive to escape. Each drive intelligently sought its own objective and rewarded its achievement with pleasure. The thrill one felt came from built in pleasure circuits fashioned by nature. Those circuits powered drives, which successfully achieved a range of survival activities in a complex and hostile world. The drive circuits carried within them a massive depth of experience and wisdom. The noblest goals of mankind and its most evil instincts were drives, inherited from millions of years of history. One of those drives was a search for meaning - an instinctual drive, like hunger.
Across history, mankind searched the heavens to discover meaning. Religions offered a wide range of possible meanings, each favouring a particular divine purpose. But, religion failed to find meaning in horrifying disasters. For the sceptic, without the support of religion, a fearful existence on a tiny planet appeared utterly pointless. Both suspected that life appeared to have no meaning. Where could we go from there? There was an answer. We had to understand this obsessive human need to find meaning. It was merely another instinctual drive. A craving. Such drives could be calmed. Just an awareness alone could still the need. After all, it was hardly so urgent to discover that cosmic meaning.
Freed from this need, it was easier to fit into society, contribute our mite and satisfy the demands of our minds. We could be content with discovering reasonable purposes. Frankl had proved that simpler purposes sufficiently enabled prisoners to withstand even the most meaningless excesses of life. Hunger did not demand that we gorge ourselves. A reasonable repast was sufficient to satisfy our craving. So also, it was hardly necessary to feast ourselves on understanding the global purpose of the universe. Just as there was little need to travel to a distant galaxy to satisfy our curiosity. It was enough to be happy with finding our own role in society.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
How To Enjoy A Happy Life
"Don't Worry, Be Happy," sings Bob Marley. But happiness appears to be a lost art. The stress of day to day living has made us worried and very unhappy. Our scarce resources don't seem sufficient to balance the demand.
Yet is worry itself only an illusion? A bad habit? A self-defeating way of thinking?
Living a happy, resilient and optimistic life is wonderful. It is also good for your health. Being happy actually protects you from stress.
Worry, on the other hand, creates stress, which itself is linked to heart disease, cancer and stroke.
How can you embrace change, stop worrying, and feel happy?
Make A Decision To Be Happy
"Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be," said Abraham Lincoln.
To be happy is relatively easy. Just decide to be a happy person. Abraham Lincoln observed that most people can choose how happy or unhappy they want to be. Wouldn't you rather be relaxed rather than tense, bright rather than gloomy?
The choice is simple: choose to be happy.
Happiness, then, as Abraham Lincoln pointed out, is actually a decision. It's not based on a perfect equilibrium in all your affairs. It's based on a choice to adopt an optimistic view. If you're going to wait for everything to be perfect before you give yourself permission to be happy, you may catch a window of opportunity only once or twice in a lifetime.
Improve Your Relationships
One certain way to be happy is to make all your relationships positive ones.
Social networks are essential for happiness. People are different, accept them the way they are. Avoid clashes. Shun arguments. Let go of resentments. If an argument seems inevitable, try and understand the situation from the other person's perspective before you lose your temper. Often, this expansion of perception, is enough to end disagreements and misunderstandings.
Happiness is our natural birthright. Everyone has that capacity. Increasing it can make life wonderful. You'll also feel healthy, think clearly, and do everything better.
Adopt An Attitude Of Gratitude
Being grateful is a great attitude. We have much to be thankful for. Thank the sun for rising, the sky for its beauty, and the meadows and hills for bright, living colors.
Thank the air and the water for sustaining your life; the food placed before you for nourishing you; the work given to your hands to do to provide all your material needs.
Thank the people who think you're special.
There is no limit on things to be grateful for.
Avoid Malcontents
Life is a challenge and many people develop a peculiar joy from sharing their "ain't it awful" stories with you.
Somehow, after listening to them gossip or whine, you suddenly feel empty and defeated.
While you may enjoy offering a friendly word of advice, prefer to spend your time associating with happier people.
If you can't get enough bad news, then turn on the radio or television.
People who are miserable can sap your energy. Do you really want to spend your time with them? It's just as easy to find uplifting joyful companionship and tune into information that is informative and inspiring.
Avoid Ugly Environments
Avoid exposure to negative elements like loud noises, toxins and hazardous places.
Tune In To The Infinite
A spiritual perspective can tune you into the big picture. All of life is evolving before your very eyes. Relish the adventure of being here, now.
Do things that remind you of your own spiritual nature. For some, it is walking out in nature, for others it is a formal practice like meditation, contemplation, or joining a like-minded group.
Manage Your Time
Manage your time. Time is invaluable and too important to waste. Time management can make every part of your life work better.
Time management involves scheduling, setting goals, planning, creating lists of things to do and prioritizing.
With just a modicum of effort, you can develop efficient personal time management skills.
Make Time For Humor
Watch funny movies, listen to and share jokes, and do things that make you feel silly and light-hearted. Life has its hilarious side as well.
Share Your Affection
Express your feelings, affections, friendship and passion to people around you. They will most likely reciprocate. Try to release pent up anger or frustration. Be slow to anger and quick to forgive. It makes life for everyone, including yourself, so much easier.
Do Work You Love Working hard brings tremendous personal satisfaction. You feel competent when you finish your tasks. Accomplishments are necessary for all of us. They give us a sense of value. Work on things that you feel worthy of your time. Love what you do and do what you love. It's a great way to make more money because your energy is aligned with your desires. Enjoy Learning New Things
Learning is a joyful experience. Try and learn something new every day. Learning broadens your horizons. It also improves what you can do and be in the future.
Get In Touch With Your Body
Run, jog, walk, exercise, make love. Get in touch with your body. Be present in your body. Feel alive in it. These are just a few simple things you can do everyday to be happy. Once you think about it, you can come up with quite a few more.
The best place to start right now is to remember the quote from Abraham Lincoln, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."
The pursuit of happiness may be easier than you think.
About the Author
Saleem Rana would love to share his inspiring ideas His book Never Ever Give Up tells you how. It is offered at no cost as a way to help YOU succeed. The Empowered Soul
Yet is worry itself only an illusion? A bad habit? A self-defeating way of thinking?
Living a happy, resilient and optimistic life is wonderful. It is also good for your health. Being happy actually protects you from stress.
Worry, on the other hand, creates stress, which itself is linked to heart disease, cancer and stroke.
How can you embrace change, stop worrying, and feel happy?
Make A Decision To Be Happy
"Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be," said Abraham Lincoln.
To be happy is relatively easy. Just decide to be a happy person. Abraham Lincoln observed that most people can choose how happy or unhappy they want to be. Wouldn't you rather be relaxed rather than tense, bright rather than gloomy?
The choice is simple: choose to be happy.
Happiness, then, as Abraham Lincoln pointed out, is actually a decision. It's not based on a perfect equilibrium in all your affairs. It's based on a choice to adopt an optimistic view. If you're going to wait for everything to be perfect before you give yourself permission to be happy, you may catch a window of opportunity only once or twice in a lifetime.
Improve Your Relationships
One certain way to be happy is to make all your relationships positive ones.
Social networks are essential for happiness. People are different, accept them the way they are. Avoid clashes. Shun arguments. Let go of resentments. If an argument seems inevitable, try and understand the situation from the other person's perspective before you lose your temper. Often, this expansion of perception, is enough to end disagreements and misunderstandings.
Happiness is our natural birthright. Everyone has that capacity. Increasing it can make life wonderful. You'll also feel healthy, think clearly, and do everything better.
Adopt An Attitude Of Gratitude
Being grateful is a great attitude. We have much to be thankful for. Thank the sun for rising, the sky for its beauty, and the meadows and hills for bright, living colors.
Thank the air and the water for sustaining your life; the food placed before you for nourishing you; the work given to your hands to do to provide all your material needs.
Thank the people who think you're special.
There is no limit on things to be grateful for.
Avoid Malcontents
Life is a challenge and many people develop a peculiar joy from sharing their "ain't it awful" stories with you.
Somehow, after listening to them gossip or whine, you suddenly feel empty and defeated.
While you may enjoy offering a friendly word of advice, prefer to spend your time associating with happier people.
If you can't get enough bad news, then turn on the radio or television.
People who are miserable can sap your energy. Do you really want to spend your time with them? It's just as easy to find uplifting joyful companionship and tune into information that is informative and inspiring.
Avoid Ugly Environments
Avoid exposure to negative elements like loud noises, toxins and hazardous places.
Tune In To The Infinite
A spiritual perspective can tune you into the big picture. All of life is evolving before your very eyes. Relish the adventure of being here, now.
Do things that remind you of your own spiritual nature. For some, it is walking out in nature, for others it is a formal practice like meditation, contemplation, or joining a like-minded group.
Manage Your Time
Manage your time. Time is invaluable and too important to waste. Time management can make every part of your life work better.
Time management involves scheduling, setting goals, planning, creating lists of things to do and prioritizing.
With just a modicum of effort, you can develop efficient personal time management skills.
Make Time For Humor
Watch funny movies, listen to and share jokes, and do things that make you feel silly and light-hearted. Life has its hilarious side as well.
Share Your Affection
Express your feelings, affections, friendship and passion to people around you. They will most likely reciprocate. Try to release pent up anger or frustration. Be slow to anger and quick to forgive. It makes life for everyone, including yourself, so much easier.
Do Work You Love Working hard brings tremendous personal satisfaction. You feel competent when you finish your tasks. Accomplishments are necessary for all of us. They give us a sense of value. Work on things that you feel worthy of your time. Love what you do and do what you love. It's a great way to make more money because your energy is aligned with your desires. Enjoy Learning New Things
Learning is a joyful experience. Try and learn something new every day. Learning broadens your horizons. It also improves what you can do and be in the future.
Get In Touch With Your Body
Run, jog, walk, exercise, make love. Get in touch with your body. Be present in your body. Feel alive in it. These are just a few simple things you can do everyday to be happy. Once you think about it, you can come up with quite a few more.
The best place to start right now is to remember the quote from Abraham Lincoln, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."
The pursuit of happiness may be easier than you think.
About the Author
Saleem Rana would love to share his inspiring ideas His book Never Ever Give Up tells you how. It is offered at no cost as a way to help YOU succeed. The Empowered Soul
Honesty In Marriage
Humans are not particularly honest creatures. We pretend we are, but really in the end, when we pile up all the individual little "I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings" lies, we aren't brazenly honest at all. Is this a bad thing? Is being honest with your spouse 100% of the time a really good idea? Aren't there times when we shouldn't spill our guts, not even to our spouse? Or should we pride ourselves on being completely honest all the time no matter what? Unfortunately, honesty isn't as black and white of a topic as it should be.
Do you offer up to your spouse that the first time the two of you were sexually intimate it was rather disappointing, especially since it has gotten so much better? What good does that do? Is that different than if it is still continuously disappointing? Then what?
Most psychologists claim that if there is something to be gained on the scale of overall positive, then it is definitely worth being completely open with a spouse. However, most psychologists claim that if there is absolutely nothing to be gained on either side of the relationship, you may be fishing in dangerous waters.
Honesty can be a complicated subject. Honesty is in fact a cornerstone of a healthy relationship, and for most topics it is vital that honesty is laid out on the table. Being dishonest about something from the past, your true feelings about important topics, and your ultimate desires is naturally a cataclysmic event waiting to happen. Sucking down your husband's first attempt at cooking dinner isn't necessarily a bad lie, but then again you're probably going to have to suck it down again the next time he tries to be sweet.
So where is that magic line between knowing when to be honest, which is more than likely to result in hurt feelings, and when to pull back and allow an assumption to be made or even telling a bold face lie?
Lies are dangerous. Once you start with the little lies which make things easier and save feelings from absorbing pain, it becomes easier to tell lies just to make things easier. Then of course there are the lies that are told to cover up the lies that were meant to just make things a little easier. Before you know it, you're going to need a little black and white composition book to keep the lies straight. How incredibly disrespectful is all this lying to the spouse you're intending not to hurt?
Being able to rely on a spouse, whether it's a simple subtle suggestion to reconsider the clothes you though were a good idea to wear to work to knowing that they'll call you on your behavior when you're wrong, is a vital piece of any healthy relationship. It's part of what keeps us accountable and in a state of healthy growth. There is of course a significant difference between having open and honest discussions which lead to growth and being a "yes" spouse. Honesty flows in both directions, from voicing a feeling about a situation to disagreeing with the other's viewpoint. Honesty is about maintaining the integrity of each person in the relationship, which in turn maintains the integrity of the relationship.
Some people believe in a 100% honest relationship. However, most people can't really handle 100% honesty all of the time. The majority of people fall into more of an 85-90% honesty range. This means they choose to ignore the dinner that was marginally edible and they haven't made a fuss about the ten extra pounds their spouse has put on and they simply avoid topics that would just be hurtful with no resolution at the end.
There's no denying that honesty can be painful, both for the individual delivering honesty as well as the individual receiving the honesty. Yet keeping honest thoughts and feelings inside to avoid conflict often results in the blurting out of an honest feeling during a heated moment. Now, on top of the original argument, there is an additional issue piled on to already sensitive feelings coupled with the fact that you obviously lied about it before. This can get messy. Being honest with your spouse is vital to opening communication. Even when honesty and truths make people momentarily uncomfortable, it is vital to open communication and to resolving conflicts which can ultimately mean the difference between developing a strong relationship and growing apart to the point of no return.
Do you offer up to your spouse that the first time the two of you were sexually intimate it was rather disappointing, especially since it has gotten so much better? What good does that do? Is that different than if it is still continuously disappointing? Then what?
Most psychologists claim that if there is something to be gained on the scale of overall positive, then it is definitely worth being completely open with a spouse. However, most psychologists claim that if there is absolutely nothing to be gained on either side of the relationship, you may be fishing in dangerous waters.
Honesty can be a complicated subject. Honesty is in fact a cornerstone of a healthy relationship, and for most topics it is vital that honesty is laid out on the table. Being dishonest about something from the past, your true feelings about important topics, and your ultimate desires is naturally a cataclysmic event waiting to happen. Sucking down your husband's first attempt at cooking dinner isn't necessarily a bad lie, but then again you're probably going to have to suck it down again the next time he tries to be sweet.
So where is that magic line between knowing when to be honest, which is more than likely to result in hurt feelings, and when to pull back and allow an assumption to be made or even telling a bold face lie?
Lies are dangerous. Once you start with the little lies which make things easier and save feelings from absorbing pain, it becomes easier to tell lies just to make things easier. Then of course there are the lies that are told to cover up the lies that were meant to just make things a little easier. Before you know it, you're going to need a little black and white composition book to keep the lies straight. How incredibly disrespectful is all this lying to the spouse you're intending not to hurt?
Being able to rely on a spouse, whether it's a simple subtle suggestion to reconsider the clothes you though were a good idea to wear to work to knowing that they'll call you on your behavior when you're wrong, is a vital piece of any healthy relationship. It's part of what keeps us accountable and in a state of healthy growth. There is of course a significant difference between having open and honest discussions which lead to growth and being a "yes" spouse. Honesty flows in both directions, from voicing a feeling about a situation to disagreeing with the other's viewpoint. Honesty is about maintaining the integrity of each person in the relationship, which in turn maintains the integrity of the relationship.
Some people believe in a 100% honest relationship. However, most people can't really handle 100% honesty all of the time. The majority of people fall into more of an 85-90% honesty range. This means they choose to ignore the dinner that was marginally edible and they haven't made a fuss about the ten extra pounds their spouse has put on and they simply avoid topics that would just be hurtful with no resolution at the end.
There's no denying that honesty can be painful, both for the individual delivering honesty as well as the individual receiving the honesty. Yet keeping honest thoughts and feelings inside to avoid conflict often results in the blurting out of an honest feeling during a heated moment. Now, on top of the original argument, there is an additional issue piled on to already sensitive feelings coupled with the fact that you obviously lied about it before. This can get messy. Being honest with your spouse is vital to opening communication. Even when honesty and truths make people momentarily uncomfortable, it is vital to open communication and to resolving conflicts which can ultimately mean the difference between developing a strong relationship and growing apart to the point of no return.
How You Can Give Better Holiday Gifts AND Be More
It's the holiday shopping season, and Grinning Planet would like to point out that the holiday phrase "Ho, ho, ho!" also relates to being green--it's the Jolly Green Giant's tagline. Well, OK, that doesn't exactly get us to the "eco-friendly" meaning of being green. But when shopping for holiday gifts, there are a number of ways we can be environmentally friendly.
All manufactured items, including gifts, require material and energy to be produced, and production and transportation of the items results in some level of pollution. Here are a couple of ways to make sure those resources aren't a waste:
1) Useful Gifts -- One of the best ways to ensure the resources related to your gift don't get wasted is to make sure your gift doesn't end up gathering dust in a closet. While "surprises" can be nice, giving someone a gift out of the blue without any clue whether they'll truly like it or use it may get you one of those half-hearted "Um, oh, cool, thanks" responses. A different approach is to ask your giftees for wish lists, which works especially well within families, where social protocols and rituals can be more easily adjusted. This lessens the surprise factor but guarantees that you're giving a gift that the person will use.
2) Drawing Names -- As families and circles of friends grow, the number of gifts being exchanged can increase rapidly. Rather than each person within a group giving a gift to every other member of the group, names can be drawn so that each person gives gifts to only one or two people. This reduces the overall amount of resources related to presents and will reduce your holiday stress level. It may be too late this year to implement such a strategy, but if you'd like to try it next year, suggesting the change to your family/friends just after this holiday season will give people time to think about it and adjust to the idea.
Regardless of how you arrange your gift giving, choosing environmentally friendly products will be better for the planet than buying everyone an economy sized bottle of cloying cologne or some other non-green item. When looking at items claiming to be green, the US Federal Trade Commission advises that shoppers look for quantitative or specific claims, rather than general claims like "green," "eco-friendly," or "environmentally safe," which are open to interpretation. Better descriptions are things like "made from organic cotton," "made from 50% recycled materials," or "manufactured without animal testing."
Here are a few categories of gifts that would be more eco-friendly than some others:
1) Organic -- A gift basket of food is a typical holiday gift that's even better if at least part of the basket is filled with organic yummies. If you know someone who is a coffee lover, they will flip over the bag of organic gourmet coffee you give them. Organic flowers are available, as are flower arrangements that are not organic but whose growers minimize their use of chemical fertilizers and pesticides. Organic cotton clothing and bedding are also making rapid gains in popularity. 2) Fair trade -- Buying fair-trade items--items typically made by indigenous peoples--often helps the creators sustain themselves without resorting to environmentally unwise practices such as clearcutting forests. Whether it's art, coffee, chocolate, soaps, or carpets, buying items labeled "fair trade" lets you avoid purchasing gifts that were produced by companies that use exploitative labor practices.
3) Recycled -- These days, lots of things are made out of recycled materials--from works of art to clothing. A great holiday gift might be some of the very cool clothes they now make from recycled cotton. Some eco-friendly clothing even includes 50% fibers from recycled plastic bottles.
4) Honorary Gifts -- How much stuff does anyone really need? Once we reach a certain age, getting more "stuff" is as much a storage problem as anything else. Donating money to a person's favorite charity or cause in their name is a nice substitute. To some extent, a nice holiday get-together with family and friends, full of good cheer and warm conversation, is as good a gift as many of us really need. But for the instances where a gift is appropriate, here's a good starting point for your eco-friendly shopping: Grinning Planet's Green Products and Services page ( http://www.grinningplanet.com/5005/green-products-services.htm ).
(Disclaimer: Grinning Planet does not receive any commission from the companies listed on the Green Products and Services page.)
Finally, we'd like to put in a word for our dear departed Uncle Freeman. When cash got short, he still never skimped on the Christmas gifts--he just sent them C.O.D. For jokes, cartoons, and more great environmental information, visit http://www.grinningplanet.com .
� 2003 by GrinningPlanet.com You have permission to publish this article electronically or in print, free of charge, as long as the bylines are included. Must be published complete with no changes. A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated.
All manufactured items, including gifts, require material and energy to be produced, and production and transportation of the items results in some level of pollution. Here are a couple of ways to make sure those resources aren't a waste:
1) Useful Gifts -- One of the best ways to ensure the resources related to your gift don't get wasted is to make sure your gift doesn't end up gathering dust in a closet. While "surprises" can be nice, giving someone a gift out of the blue without any clue whether they'll truly like it or use it may get you one of those half-hearted "Um, oh, cool, thanks" responses. A different approach is to ask your giftees for wish lists, which works especially well within families, where social protocols and rituals can be more easily adjusted. This lessens the surprise factor but guarantees that you're giving a gift that the person will use.
2) Drawing Names -- As families and circles of friends grow, the number of gifts being exchanged can increase rapidly. Rather than each person within a group giving a gift to every other member of the group, names can be drawn so that each person gives gifts to only one or two people. This reduces the overall amount of resources related to presents and will reduce your holiday stress level. It may be too late this year to implement such a strategy, but if you'd like to try it next year, suggesting the change to your family/friends just after this holiday season will give people time to think about it and adjust to the idea.
Regardless of how you arrange your gift giving, choosing environmentally friendly products will be better for the planet than buying everyone an economy sized bottle of cloying cologne or some other non-green item. When looking at items claiming to be green, the US Federal Trade Commission advises that shoppers look for quantitative or specific claims, rather than general claims like "green," "eco-friendly," or "environmentally safe," which are open to interpretation. Better descriptions are things like "made from organic cotton," "made from 50% recycled materials," or "manufactured without animal testing."
Here are a few categories of gifts that would be more eco-friendly than some others:
1) Organic -- A gift basket of food is a typical holiday gift that's even better if at least part of the basket is filled with organic yummies. If you know someone who is a coffee lover, they will flip over the bag of organic gourmet coffee you give them. Organic flowers are available, as are flower arrangements that are not organic but whose growers minimize their use of chemical fertilizers and pesticides. Organic cotton clothing and bedding are also making rapid gains in popularity. 2) Fair trade -- Buying fair-trade items--items typically made by indigenous peoples--often helps the creators sustain themselves without resorting to environmentally unwise practices such as clearcutting forests. Whether it's art, coffee, chocolate, soaps, or carpets, buying items labeled "fair trade" lets you avoid purchasing gifts that were produced by companies that use exploitative labor practices.
3) Recycled -- These days, lots of things are made out of recycled materials--from works of art to clothing. A great holiday gift might be some of the very cool clothes they now make from recycled cotton. Some eco-friendly clothing even includes 50% fibers from recycled plastic bottles.
4) Honorary Gifts -- How much stuff does anyone really need? Once we reach a certain age, getting more "stuff" is as much a storage problem as anything else. Donating money to a person's favorite charity or cause in their name is a nice substitute. To some extent, a nice holiday get-together with family and friends, full of good cheer and warm conversation, is as good a gift as many of us really need. But for the instances where a gift is appropriate, here's a good starting point for your eco-friendly shopping: Grinning Planet's Green Products and Services page ( http://www.grinningplanet.com/5005/green-products-services.htm ).
(Disclaimer: Grinning Planet does not receive any commission from the companies listed on the Green Products and Services page.)
Finally, we'd like to put in a word for our dear departed Uncle Freeman. When cash got short, he still never skimped on the Christmas gifts--he just sent them C.O.D. For jokes, cartoons, and more great environmental information, visit http://www.grinningplanet.com .
� 2003 by GrinningPlanet.com You have permission to publish this article electronically or in print, free of charge, as long as the bylines are included. Must be published complete with no changes. A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated.
Monday, June 11, 2007
Motivation To Succeed Develops In Early Childhood
Disclaimer: None of the content of this article should be considered medical or psychological advice. You should consult with your health care professional for specific advice relating to your medical and psychological questions or conditions.
Have you ever heard about a child whom parents or teachers describe as lazy, unenthusiastic, and non-interested in any school subject or social activity? If yes, have you ever thought why this child is so low motivated, when he or she needs to do something demanding assiduity, diligence, patience, attention, tenacity, self-control and other important personal qualities?
While growing up these children meet obstacles in real life and do not find enough will power, strength of mind to overcome life difficulties and achieve goals. This happens because in childhood and during adolescent period, when important aspects of self-regulation and self-control build up, these children did not learn to be patient, assiduous and purposeful.
That is the reason why it is very important to make the basis of your child's motivation to success, self-control, and self-regulation in early childhood. Sometimes it is much easier for parents just to close their eyes to many things thus allowing their child to do anything he or she wants and have "peace" without listening to the child crying or demanding anything. But this is not a way out of the situation, because now your child is having only a small problem, but while the child is growing up problems will be becoming more complicated and solving them will be much more difficult.
How can you help your child be more motivated?
1. Be sure that you are ready and have enough patience to talk and explain your child many things even there could be some misunderstandings and communication difficulties.
2. Do not be afraid to be strict sometimes, but at the same time try to explain all your actions, be reasonable and appeal to consciousness of your child. (For example, if your child does not want to make homework in math, explain your him or her, that now the most important thing is not the homework, but how strong and self-controlled he or she is, and the ability of doing important things, which children do not want to do.)
3. Teach your child to avoid words such as "I want to do..." and "I don't want to do..." substitute these word-combinations with "I need to do..." and "I don't need to do..."Also do not tell your child, that he or she is "the smartest, most clever..." or "the best person" in any field. Because when a person says: "I am the best..." it is the signal for unconscious mechanisms to stop accept new information. "The best" person does not need to learn or know anything. Isn't he or she "the best" already? Instead of that, say: "I'm good in this today, and I will even be better tomorrow!"
4. Do not demand from your child fast results and improvements. Remember, you should begin with small tasks, like homework or house work help.
5. Teach your child to be enthusiastic and open to new knowledge and experience. Explain and show him or her that, for example, every subject in school can be much more interesting if they try to learn more about it.
Invest your time, efforts and teach your child to be motivated to achieve their goals with the help of patience, diligence, strength of mind, will power, and hard work. This will be one of the most important investments in your life, because in the future you will be very glad to see that your son or daughter is able to achieve their goals and become a successful person.
About the author: Madina Bakhitova-Niazoff, MS Psychology, is the chief editor for http://www.psychologyspace.com - an online psychology portal providing news and information on various psychology subjects, discussion forum, psychology RSS feeds and web links. Madina volunteers at Wilmington Hospital's First State School.
Have you ever heard about a child whom parents or teachers describe as lazy, unenthusiastic, and non-interested in any school subject or social activity? If yes, have you ever thought why this child is so low motivated, when he or she needs to do something demanding assiduity, diligence, patience, attention, tenacity, self-control and other important personal qualities?
While growing up these children meet obstacles in real life and do not find enough will power, strength of mind to overcome life difficulties and achieve goals. This happens because in childhood and during adolescent period, when important aspects of self-regulation and self-control build up, these children did not learn to be patient, assiduous and purposeful.
That is the reason why it is very important to make the basis of your child's motivation to success, self-control, and self-regulation in early childhood. Sometimes it is much easier for parents just to close their eyes to many things thus allowing their child to do anything he or she wants and have "peace" without listening to the child crying or demanding anything. But this is not a way out of the situation, because now your child is having only a small problem, but while the child is growing up problems will be becoming more complicated and solving them will be much more difficult.
How can you help your child be more motivated?
1. Be sure that you are ready and have enough patience to talk and explain your child many things even there could be some misunderstandings and communication difficulties.
2. Do not be afraid to be strict sometimes, but at the same time try to explain all your actions, be reasonable and appeal to consciousness of your child. (For example, if your child does not want to make homework in math, explain your him or her, that now the most important thing is not the homework, but how strong and self-controlled he or she is, and the ability of doing important things, which children do not want to do.)
3. Teach your child to avoid words such as "I want to do..." and "I don't want to do..." substitute these word-combinations with "I need to do..." and "I don't need to do..."Also do not tell your child, that he or she is "the smartest, most clever..." or "the best person" in any field. Because when a person says: "I am the best..." it is the signal for unconscious mechanisms to stop accept new information. "The best" person does not need to learn or know anything. Isn't he or she "the best" already? Instead of that, say: "I'm good in this today, and I will even be better tomorrow!"
4. Do not demand from your child fast results and improvements. Remember, you should begin with small tasks, like homework or house work help.
5. Teach your child to be enthusiastic and open to new knowledge and experience. Explain and show him or her that, for example, every subject in school can be much more interesting if they try to learn more about it.
Invest your time, efforts and teach your child to be motivated to achieve their goals with the help of patience, diligence, strength of mind, will power, and hard work. This will be one of the most important investments in your life, because in the future you will be very glad to see that your son or daughter is able to achieve their goals and become a successful person.
About the author: Madina Bakhitova-Niazoff, MS Psychology, is the chief editor for http://www.psychologyspace.com - an online psychology portal providing news and information on various psychology subjects, discussion forum, psychology RSS feeds and web links. Madina volunteers at Wilmington Hospital's First State School.
Mens Birthday Present Ideas!
Need an idea for a man�s birthday present?
Coming up with a new idea every year for a birthday present for any man can be trying. We all enjoy being fussed over on this day. Why shouldn�t we, it is our day after all?
A man is no different. They enjoy being showered with attention and gifts, even if they say otherwise. Now, comes the hard part, finding the best idea to give this year for this man�s birthday.
If the man is your dad, you sure are tired of buying him socks and ties. You want this to be a great idea not just a run of the mill. What kind of activities does your dad participate in?
Does he have any hobbies that you could use as a starting point for a gift idea? Does he like to build birdhouses, or maybe some other carpentry work? Maybe he could use some power tools that will help him with this endeavor. Does he play chess? You can find some great gift ideas if he does. There are many different styles of chess sets available today from small travel size to large ones that adorn a table made exclusive for chess sets.
If you are looking for a gift idea for a single brother or friend for their birthday you may want to see what they have in their kitchen. Yes, snoop just a little. Men living alone are not big on cooking usually and they tend to rely on the microwave.
Dishes that are microwave safe would be an awesome idea for a single mans birthday. You could even give a gift certificate for two to a fancy restaurant, he could take his girlfriend and you know he would enjoy the food.
If you know his favorite cologne, this would also be a great gift idea. He probably does not have a closet full. After, you become a parent that is when you get cologne from your children.
What about grandpa on his birthday? This man probably has every gift coming. You will have to dig around a little to get an idea for him. Maybe he enjoys gardening.
If you know what type of tools he could use for this activity then you have the best gift idea. If he loves to fish, you can surely find some great fishing accessories that he will absolutely love. Even men enjoy having an afghan to lie across their lap on cold evenings and he would know that you gave him this wonderful gift.
Your husband should not be hard to find a gift idea for. Surprise him this year, buy this man a birthday present that you are sure he will enjoy, not one that you want him to enjoy.
If he enjoys camping or hunting, find accessories that will help him enjoy the outing. If you worry about him staying warm, find him a gift that will ensure that he says warm while out hunting.
Maybe a fleece lined pair of hunting gloves or even heated socks would be a great gift idea. Buy some camping cooking gear. You won�t be there to cook for him but you want him to eat properly. Put together a basket of foods that he can eat while camping that he will enjoy cooking. This will show him that you care about his birthday and what he enjoys.
Some other gifts ideas that any man would appreciate getting on their birthday would be their favorite aftershave, an expensive pocket or wrist watch. You can even have the watch engraved to add that personal touch.
Men do like toys or new innovative gadgets (like the ones here: http://www.gifts-for-men.org/firebox/?category=Vehicles%20and%20A ircraft ), so some other ideas would be a cell phone, a MP3 player, a radio controlled car or airplane. For a fun idea purchase a robot, battle bots, computer games, and car kit models.
Digital cameras (http://www.gifts-for-men.org/firebox/?category=Consumer%20Electr onics) are a great gift idea for a man�s birthday. They can even download them onto their computer and enjoy using the photos as their desktop.
About the author: http://www.gifts-for-men.org/ Provides gift ideas and unique gifts for men, visit http://www.gifts-for-men.org/gadgets-uk/?category=Games for some cool gadgets you can buy for men!
Coming up with a new idea every year for a birthday present for any man can be trying. We all enjoy being fussed over on this day. Why shouldn�t we, it is our day after all?
A man is no different. They enjoy being showered with attention and gifts, even if they say otherwise. Now, comes the hard part, finding the best idea to give this year for this man�s birthday.
If the man is your dad, you sure are tired of buying him socks and ties. You want this to be a great idea not just a run of the mill. What kind of activities does your dad participate in?
Does he have any hobbies that you could use as a starting point for a gift idea? Does he like to build birdhouses, or maybe some other carpentry work? Maybe he could use some power tools that will help him with this endeavor. Does he play chess? You can find some great gift ideas if he does. There are many different styles of chess sets available today from small travel size to large ones that adorn a table made exclusive for chess sets.
If you are looking for a gift idea for a single brother or friend for their birthday you may want to see what they have in their kitchen. Yes, snoop just a little. Men living alone are not big on cooking usually and they tend to rely on the microwave.
Dishes that are microwave safe would be an awesome idea for a single mans birthday. You could even give a gift certificate for two to a fancy restaurant, he could take his girlfriend and you know he would enjoy the food.
If you know his favorite cologne, this would also be a great gift idea. He probably does not have a closet full. After, you become a parent that is when you get cologne from your children.
What about grandpa on his birthday? This man probably has every gift coming. You will have to dig around a little to get an idea for him. Maybe he enjoys gardening.
If you know what type of tools he could use for this activity then you have the best gift idea. If he loves to fish, you can surely find some great fishing accessories that he will absolutely love. Even men enjoy having an afghan to lie across their lap on cold evenings and he would know that you gave him this wonderful gift.
Your husband should not be hard to find a gift idea for. Surprise him this year, buy this man a birthday present that you are sure he will enjoy, not one that you want him to enjoy.
If he enjoys camping or hunting, find accessories that will help him enjoy the outing. If you worry about him staying warm, find him a gift that will ensure that he says warm while out hunting.
Maybe a fleece lined pair of hunting gloves or even heated socks would be a great gift idea. Buy some camping cooking gear. You won�t be there to cook for him but you want him to eat properly. Put together a basket of foods that he can eat while camping that he will enjoy cooking. This will show him that you care about his birthday and what he enjoys.
Some other gifts ideas that any man would appreciate getting on their birthday would be their favorite aftershave, an expensive pocket or wrist watch. You can even have the watch engraved to add that personal touch.
Men do like toys or new innovative gadgets (like the ones here: http://www.gifts-for-men.org/firebox/?category=Vehicles%20and%20A ircraft ), so some other ideas would be a cell phone, a MP3 player, a radio controlled car or airplane. For a fun idea purchase a robot, battle bots, computer games, and car kit models.
Digital cameras (http://www.gifts-for-men.org/firebox/?category=Consumer%20Electr onics) are a great gift idea for a man�s birthday. They can even download them onto their computer and enjoy using the photos as their desktop.
About the author: http://www.gifts-for-men.org/ Provides gift ideas and unique gifts for men, visit http://www.gifts-for-men.org/gadgets-uk/?category=Games for some cool gadgets you can buy for men!
Baby Shower Gift Registry
Baby Shower Gift Registry Just as with weddings, couples today can now register in person or online at most of their favorite stores. This provides the couple an opportunity to determine the gifts they will receive, specific colors, sizes, and so on. Additionally, with so many companies offering online baby shower registers, both high end and affordable stores can be chosen so every guest can choose their price range.
Interestingly, some people still consider baby gift registers as cold and impersonal. You want the guests to know that the gift is their choice since it is something that comes from the heart. To ensure no one is offended, wording is very important so the recommendation of using the gift registry is not seen as offensive.
Remember, you do not want to include the information about the gift registry in the invitation. Now, some people will add this information on a separate piece of paper slipped inside the invitation but etiquette experts state this is an incorrect way of handling it. Instead, when the guests reply with the RSVP, you can then send them a note in the mail or via email, providing the gift registry information.
This message could say something like, �Thank you for your confirmation for attending John and Sue�s baby shower. We look forward to you joining us for the celebration of life and enjoying this time of fellowship among family and friends. Although baby gifts are welcomed, they are not mandatory. If you are unsure what the couple needs, they have registered at a few stores to include��
With this, you are advising people that gifts are not necessary and that if they do not have an idea of what to buy, they can check out the registration if they like. By giving people options, they do not feel obligated to buy something specifically chosen by the couple. After all, some people may prefer to make homemade gifts and they should have the option of doing this if they wish.
The great thing about baby shower registers is that the couple eliminates the potential of receiving two of the same thing. Therefore, rather than direct people what to buy, it becomes a practical approach to gift giving. Baby gift registration is also a time saving tool. Since most couples are tired and the mother-to-be may not be feeling full of energy, the option of choosing items online is a huge benefit.
About the author: Cathy is the Owner of Baby Shower Moments and the author of Baby Shower Moments A to Z Guide. If you are looking for baby shower Gift Registry ideas pay Cathy a visit.
Interestingly, some people still consider baby gift registers as cold and impersonal. You want the guests to know that the gift is their choice since it is something that comes from the heart. To ensure no one is offended, wording is very important so the recommendation of using the gift registry is not seen as offensive.
Remember, you do not want to include the information about the gift registry in the invitation. Now, some people will add this information on a separate piece of paper slipped inside the invitation but etiquette experts state this is an incorrect way of handling it. Instead, when the guests reply with the RSVP, you can then send them a note in the mail or via email, providing the gift registry information.
This message could say something like, �Thank you for your confirmation for attending John and Sue�s baby shower. We look forward to you joining us for the celebration of life and enjoying this time of fellowship among family and friends. Although baby gifts are welcomed, they are not mandatory. If you are unsure what the couple needs, they have registered at a few stores to include��
With this, you are advising people that gifts are not necessary and that if they do not have an idea of what to buy, they can check out the registration if they like. By giving people options, they do not feel obligated to buy something specifically chosen by the couple. After all, some people may prefer to make homemade gifts and they should have the option of doing this if they wish.
The great thing about baby shower registers is that the couple eliminates the potential of receiving two of the same thing. Therefore, rather than direct people what to buy, it becomes a practical approach to gift giving. Baby gift registration is also a time saving tool. Since most couples are tired and the mother-to-be may not be feeling full of energy, the option of choosing items online is a huge benefit.
About the author: Cathy is the Owner of Baby Shower Moments and the author of Baby Shower Moments A to Z Guide. If you are looking for baby shower Gift Registry ideas pay Cathy a visit.
Goblet of Fire - The Best Harry Potter of Them All
a href="http://opportunities.typepad.com">Goblet of Fire earned more than $100 in its first 3 days. Officially it became the fourth movie in history to earn that much in its initial days of showing, just behind Star Wars, James Bond and Lord of the Rings series. Though all the previous Harry Potter films went on to top a quarter-billion dollars in ticket sales, the new Potter movie outpaced them all. Hollywood is now hoping that the new Harry Potter would somehow pull up the movie industry that is currently suffering from sluggish sales. Harry Potter fans seem to like most Harry's performance during a triwizard tournament with its spectacular cinematography, and his encounter with the evil Voldemort. Many of them claim the Goblet of Fire is by far the best of the Potter series. The current film is much darker than the last two. This is also the first Harry Potter film that did not receive a PG rating. Instead, it earned a PG-13 rating due to its ominous theme. Nonetheless, wizardry fans are screaming with obvious delight. Although many of the subplots from the 734-page book were dropped, none of the fans are complaining.
One of the fans said he liked the subtlety of the story. Another said the film has a good moral for the young people, specially when the young Potter chose to help others even at a great risk to himself.
With the Goblet of Fire, Harry Potter hasn't yet lost his charm among moviegoers, though he's obviously grown older and starting to struggle with love. Perhaps it because his fans are growing up with him, and they all want to see what series of events would happen next to him. Even adults are anxious about what the new movies brings. According to the movie's distributor Warner Bros., 38% of the moviegoers who went to see the Potter film were adults without children.
About the author: For the latest entertainment and celebrity news and gossip, visit The One Minute Blog.
One of the fans said he liked the subtlety of the story. Another said the film has a good moral for the young people, specially when the young Potter chose to help others even at a great risk to himself.
With the Goblet of Fire, Harry Potter hasn't yet lost his charm among moviegoers, though he's obviously grown older and starting to struggle with love. Perhaps it because his fans are growing up with him, and they all want to see what series of events would happen next to him. Even adults are anxious about what the new movies brings. According to the movie's distributor Warner Bros., 38% of the moviegoers who went to see the Potter film were adults without children.
About the author: For the latest entertainment and celebrity news and gossip, visit The One Minute Blog.
Friday, June 8, 2007
A perspective on life!
A perspective on life! – by Joseph GhabiAll of our lives we always seem to direct our concern toward attempting to conclude our life path or destiny in this lifetime without really knowing or understanding what this means to us. In reality the importance lies not in trying to determine our life path or destiny, but, in effect of how much growth we accomplish within one lifetime. So you are not condemned if you make one or two mistakes from time to time! The importance in reality in the acceptance of the situation, then the understanding of what you’ve come to learn and move on in your life. At the end of that particular lifetime, it is measured if we succeeded to meet our intended life path and the relevance is in what amount of growth that we were capable of achieving in that lifetime.By putting less restriction and pressure on ourselves in concentrating less on our life path, we can allow different experiences and the people that come into our lives to bring us our growth. Rather than comparing their signs in horoscope, astrology or numerology with our own in order to determine if they are compatible with us or not, just appreciate and understand that you needed those experiences when they came to you, otherwise the people were not part of your life in the first place.In our human level, it is normal to push away certain experiences or people that we encounter in our lives, a common reaction out of a lack of security in ourselves. That is in reality the fear of the unknown in any situation that is not familiar to us. Think of it in that way. If we need the experience then that is enough reason to accept and learn to deal with it in the first place without questioning its impact or value in your life. Just accept it as part of your growth.Growth and our life path are not the same and we cannot look at them from the same perspective. Try to look at it from my point of view at the moment.Growth is defined in such a way that for the evolution of a soul, that soul requires the capacity to evolve under specific learning experiences in order to attain a higher level of wisdom, as well as being a companion to its fellow souls without placing judgment or by discriminating people for their skin color, religion or ethnic background.Our life path is a set of goals that we put to ourselves in an intended direction that should lead us to reach our highest possible level of growth. However, there is no such thing as one way or one direction that can lead us to our most desired life path. We can take any direction in life and always have use of our free will at our own discretion. It is important to remember that the direction will only determine the amount of growth that we accomplish from such a decision we took in our life when we do use our free will.As an example of that I am not sure if you watch “The Price is Right” on TV? When a contestant goes on stage and they have 3 doors in front of them to choose from, DOOR #1, DOOR #2 and DOOR #3. The contestant is exited about being there in the first place! When looking back at the audience to see his wife or her husband pointing with their finger at door1, 2 or 3, providing their opinion of what they think their partner should pick. Finally they decided on door #3!… It is here that you should understand what I discussed previously, in terms of the amount of growth we might achieve and under what circumstances it will occur. If that contestant choose DOOR #1 there was a car valued at 15,790$, behind DOOR #2 there a bed room furniture valued at 7,238$, and DOOR #3 there a cruise valued at 11,877$. As you can see, with which ever door you choose you are still going to win and have an experience with those prizes, yet, each one had a different feeling and value, but only in percentage. You might feel somewhat sad sometimes that you did not choose the door that your intuition was leading you to choose but at the end you still did not lose as you can see. As we can compare all of that into our life and whatever direction you choose to take is still right. The only change is the difference of experiences that each direction will bring us in return, and the amount of growth they provide for us. With that conclusion, regardless if our experience is good or bad, in either case it is still growth. As we can see there is no right or wrong here just learn to trust yourself and act upon whatever feels right for you. Never question it and avoid asking other people, relatives or a medium for an answer because you do hold your own answers inside of you. Just learn to trust yourself, even if you are in the worst situation of your life so far! There is always a way out when we apply our own determination and will into making the change. You are the master of your own destiny at the end.In reality our biggest fear in life is in accepting the necessity of making a change. Change brings an unfamiliar territory that we need to cross bringing the necessary people or situations that we need to let go of. Think about it and be honest with yourself in order to make your change valid and effective. The minute you take that leap into an unknown direction, people, situations and insight will start to fall into your lap from an unknown source. Why? Because you already took your decision to act and allowed space for change. From then on the universe will start to support you in whatever direction you plan to go on your next stage of the journey we call life.Cherish that life and just try to make the best of it and have a positive attitude about it. As it is now, I am writing these words to you regardless of what you choose to do with them. Our crossing has been met only by you reading my words and from there it is your choice for what you do with it. But the growth is as it is for you, as well as it is for me. This will bring me an opportunity to grow by learning to appreciate the chance for me to share my insight, wisdom and understanding with you. As you see there is always a win win situation here and we will never lose. Just learn to appreciate your chances to grow and enjoy your life in the process.Copyright © Joseph Ghabi http://www.freespiritcentre.info About the Author Joseph Ghabi is an author, lecturer, and healer. Joseph provides Intuitive Numerology Consultation, Healing Childhood Experiences Consultation.At the age of eight Joseph discovered his clairvoyance. Joseph is natural medium. His website is http://www.freespiritcentre.info. Joseph task is in bringing Souls back to realization of their own personal power and into alignment with their own soul purpose and path of evolution.
Budget your Family Fun - Rent Games Online
As a parent it is sometimes hard to not be able to always buy your child the next new thing that usually costs a lot of money. Sometimes it just isn�t feasible and you also probably can�t make sense of spending upwards of $50 or more on one video game! A video game that will become obsolete in just a few months and your child will forget he even has it in his closet!
We have a solution to help keep your budget inline, your kids happy and yourself happy as well. Sounds too good to be true I know, but it is! You can now rent games online and have them sent to your door. This is a great program for many reasons. One � you don�t have to remember to return them, or to wait in line to check them out. Two � there is a flat monthly fee that is two thirds cheaper than buying a new game in the store. Three � Undoubtedly your child will get sick of the game but now you can return it and rent other, no money wasted.
I don�t know about you but when I find a way to keep my budget intact and my kids happy while also being able to give them some of the things they really want, it�s a good thing. When I rent games online it is an all over time saver for me since they are on the door step when I get home for work. For now, I think I will keep this service it�s worth every penny and them some.
Did I also mention that my husband and I also enjoy playing these same games? It makes for spending some time with the family and kids while not having to spend a small fortune
We have a solution to help keep your budget inline, your kids happy and yourself happy as well. Sounds too good to be true I know, but it is! You can now rent games online and have them sent to your door. This is a great program for many reasons. One � you don�t have to remember to return them, or to wait in line to check them out. Two � there is a flat monthly fee that is two thirds cheaper than buying a new game in the store. Three � Undoubtedly your child will get sick of the game but now you can return it and rent other, no money wasted.
I don�t know about you but when I find a way to keep my budget intact and my kids happy while also being able to give them some of the things they really want, it�s a good thing. When I rent games online it is an all over time saver for me since they are on the door step when I get home for work. For now, I think I will keep this service it�s worth every penny and them some.
Did I also mention that my husband and I also enjoy playing these same games? It makes for spending some time with the family and kids while not having to spend a small fortune
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Home Schooling
Is homeschooling right for your children?
If you value quality education, family time, flexibility, and learning in the real world, then homeschooling might be for you. One of the wonderful things about homeschooling is that parents learn as much as their children in the process. Homeschooling is life changing, but allows parents to never lose control of the education process. But how do you know if homeschooling is right for your child?
In the broadest sense, homeschooling is educating your children at home. Nationally, homeschooling is a rapidly growing, if controversial, movement. Homeschooling is legal in all 50 states, but each state has it's own set of laws that must be followed. As with many things in life, homeschooling is not a black and white issue. Some parents assume that homeschooling is not an option for them, but like many other assumptions, this can be self-fulfilling.
The largest problem with homeschooling is the socialization of children. One of the strongest arguments against homeschooling is the lack of exposure to social situations involving their peers. I've had some members of my family and some friends ask questions about whether homeschooling is best and about the socialization issue. The solution for this problem is making sure your children get plenty of social exposure with their peers.
I recommend you get a few books about homeschooling to examine the issues in detail. There are dozens of books on home education today. Some of them cover the legalities involved. There are so many excellent books on homeschooling that it's hard to narrow it down to a few, but two of the first books I purchased were How to Create Your Own Unit Study and The Unit Study Idea Book.
There are numerous books and curriculums for homeschoolers that make your life easier since you don't have to design the curriculums yourself. You will have to buy home schooling books for each pre-written curriculum, so expect there to be some expensive involved.
Some parents are concerned that they might have problems finding resources to use for homeschooling. However, on the web you will find newsletter articles, reviews, resources, web sites, books and lots of other information to help your homeschooling efforts. In fact, many state departments of education also have resources online to assist in interpreting or meeting legal requirements for homeschooling. There are countless resources available for the homeschooling parents of special needs children as well.
Homeschooling is a lifestyle, and is an option for some families. Because of problems with public education homeschooling is a rapidly growing movement. It is no longer just an occasional word you see in an encyclopedia. One of the strongest arguments against homeschooling is the lack of exposure to social situations, so be sure that if you decide to homeschool your children that they receive plenty of social interaction with their peers. Homeschooling is a lot of hard work, but when done right is both rewarding and enjoyable.
Is socialization a problem for homeschooled children?
Home schooling is a different way of education for many parents, and is gradually but steadily spreading across the world. People disagree on whether home schooling is advantageous academically, it's true, but far more often the question of social isolation comes up among parents who are thinking of homeschooling their children. The bottom line is that homeschooling is good for some kids and that the factors of social isolation can be overcome.
A common concern voiced about home schooled children is they lack the social interaction with peers that a public school environment provides. Public school educators often worry that the children of such people will not learn necessary social skills. Children are born social beings, and as such need social interaction with their peers, so it's understandable that developing proper social skills is an area of deep concern when it comes to home schooling.
However, reputable studies do not indicate social maladjustment due to home schooling. These studies indicate that there are as many anti-social children in public schools as there are in home schooling. In fact, it appears that very few home-schooling children are socially deprived.
True or real socialization means that children are taught to get along with people of all ages and differences, and that is a value that can be taught at home. Yet it may be the children that benefit even more from the increased socialization that home schooling can provide, since home schoolers actually test higher than any other group of students in terms of socialization.
It is a fact that home schooled students have an equal success factor for doing well in college as their public schooled peers. Parents are responsible to make sure that their children interact with their peers in a variety of ways. But, on the other hand, homeschooled children are protected from the detrimental influences of their peers since they have more parental supervision.
If the parents teach social skills and make sure their child is involved in plenty of activities with their peers, then home schooling can be an advantage. The scores do clearly indicate that home schooled students do very well on tests when compared to their conventionally schooled peers.
Home schooling is perhaps the fastest growing trend in education in this country. It is legal in every state, though some regulate it more than others. Home schooling is good if the factors of social isolation can be overcome through proper peer socialization. It is a great option if you want to have a larger role in your kids' learning.
If you value quality education, family time, flexibility, and learning in the real world, then homeschooling might be for you. One of the wonderful things about homeschooling is that parents learn as much as their children in the process. Homeschooling is life changing, but allows parents to never lose control of the education process. But how do you know if homeschooling is right for your child?
In the broadest sense, homeschooling is educating your children at home. Nationally, homeschooling is a rapidly growing, if controversial, movement. Homeschooling is legal in all 50 states, but each state has it's own set of laws that must be followed. As with many things in life, homeschooling is not a black and white issue. Some parents assume that homeschooling is not an option for them, but like many other assumptions, this can be self-fulfilling.
The largest problem with homeschooling is the socialization of children. One of the strongest arguments against homeschooling is the lack of exposure to social situations involving their peers. I've had some members of my family and some friends ask questions about whether homeschooling is best and about the socialization issue. The solution for this problem is making sure your children get plenty of social exposure with their peers.
I recommend you get a few books about homeschooling to examine the issues in detail. There are dozens of books on home education today. Some of them cover the legalities involved. There are so many excellent books on homeschooling that it's hard to narrow it down to a few, but two of the first books I purchased were How to Create Your Own Unit Study and The Unit Study Idea Book.
There are numerous books and curriculums for homeschoolers that make your life easier since you don't have to design the curriculums yourself. You will have to buy home schooling books for each pre-written curriculum, so expect there to be some expensive involved.
Some parents are concerned that they might have problems finding resources to use for homeschooling. However, on the web you will find newsletter articles, reviews, resources, web sites, books and lots of other information to help your homeschooling efforts. In fact, many state departments of education also have resources online to assist in interpreting or meeting legal requirements for homeschooling. There are countless resources available for the homeschooling parents of special needs children as well.
Homeschooling is a lifestyle, and is an option for some families. Because of problems with public education homeschooling is a rapidly growing movement. It is no longer just an occasional word you see in an encyclopedia. One of the strongest arguments against homeschooling is the lack of exposure to social situations, so be sure that if you decide to homeschool your children that they receive plenty of social interaction with their peers. Homeschooling is a lot of hard work, but when done right is both rewarding and enjoyable.
Is socialization a problem for homeschooled children?
Home schooling is a different way of education for many parents, and is gradually but steadily spreading across the world. People disagree on whether home schooling is advantageous academically, it's true, but far more often the question of social isolation comes up among parents who are thinking of homeschooling their children. The bottom line is that homeschooling is good for some kids and that the factors of social isolation can be overcome.
A common concern voiced about home schooled children is they lack the social interaction with peers that a public school environment provides. Public school educators often worry that the children of such people will not learn necessary social skills. Children are born social beings, and as such need social interaction with their peers, so it's understandable that developing proper social skills is an area of deep concern when it comes to home schooling.
However, reputable studies do not indicate social maladjustment due to home schooling. These studies indicate that there are as many anti-social children in public schools as there are in home schooling. In fact, it appears that very few home-schooling children are socially deprived.
True or real socialization means that children are taught to get along with people of all ages and differences, and that is a value that can be taught at home. Yet it may be the children that benefit even more from the increased socialization that home schooling can provide, since home schoolers actually test higher than any other group of students in terms of socialization.
It is a fact that home schooled students have an equal success factor for doing well in college as their public schooled peers. Parents are responsible to make sure that their children interact with their peers in a variety of ways. But, on the other hand, homeschooled children are protected from the detrimental influences of their peers since they have more parental supervision.
If the parents teach social skills and make sure their child is involved in plenty of activities with their peers, then home schooling can be an advantage. The scores do clearly indicate that home schooled students do very well on tests when compared to their conventionally schooled peers.
Home schooling is perhaps the fastest growing trend in education in this country. It is legal in every state, though some regulate it more than others. Home schooling is good if the factors of social isolation can be overcome through proper peer socialization. It is a great option if you want to have a larger role in your kids' learning.
Home Theater Systems
Theater Systems Are No Longer the Sole Domain of the Audiopiles
To some, home theater is simply a big television, but a home theater is really a combination of video and audio components that achieves a theater-like experience. Many people view home theater systems as a luxury. However, home theater is not just for audiophiles anymore. There are many simple home theater systems that are easy to set up. Home Theater is quickly growing hobby and the results that you can achieve even with a modest budget are quite remarkable.
DVD players are a "must have" in any home theater system. You may prefer an all-in-one DVD home theater system. This way, you don't have to unplug your main DVD player from your current home theater system. High definition DVD is growing in popularity, so find out whether it's time to buy HD-DVD or whether you should wait for the next generation. All DVD players also play audio CDs, so you can have a single component do the work of two units.
Speakers are the heart and soul of any sound system. Any audiophile will admit that a good set of speakers is what makes or breaks a quality home theater setup. Good speakers don't have to cost a bundle, though it is easy to spend a lot. Audio/Video Receiver Speakers give you the most flexibility and full range of sound for surround sound home theater and music, as well as stereo audio.
Speakers vary a great deal in performance, as well as price. Good speakers and the components for a home-theater system cost less than ever. Determine what you can spend for speakers and then search out the best possible home theater speaker collection that will fit your spending limits. Wireless surround speakers are now available as well and save the hassle of running all of the wires through your home theater room.
A simple home theater is easy to set up, making home theater systems not just for audiophiles anymore. The future of home theater is going to be simplicity. These systems are becoming increasingly popular and are a great alternative to a night at the cinema.
To some, home theater is simply a big television, but a home theater is really a combination of video and audio components that achieves a theater-like experience. Many people view home theater systems as a luxury. However, home theater is not just for audiophiles anymore. There are many simple home theater systems that are easy to set up. Home Theater is quickly growing hobby and the results that you can achieve even with a modest budget are quite remarkable.
DVD players are a "must have" in any home theater system. You may prefer an all-in-one DVD home theater system. This way, you don't have to unplug your main DVD player from your current home theater system. High definition DVD is growing in popularity, so find out whether it's time to buy HD-DVD or whether you should wait for the next generation. All DVD players also play audio CDs, so you can have a single component do the work of two units.
Speakers are the heart and soul of any sound system. Any audiophile will admit that a good set of speakers is what makes or breaks a quality home theater setup. Good speakers don't have to cost a bundle, though it is easy to spend a lot. Audio/Video Receiver Speakers give you the most flexibility and full range of sound for surround sound home theater and music, as well as stereo audio.
Speakers vary a great deal in performance, as well as price. Good speakers and the components for a home-theater system cost less than ever. Determine what you can spend for speakers and then search out the best possible home theater speaker collection that will fit your spending limits. Wireless surround speakers are now available as well and save the hassle of running all of the wires through your home theater room.
A simple home theater is easy to set up, making home theater systems not just for audiophiles anymore. The future of home theater is going to be simplicity. These systems are becoming increasingly popular and are a great alternative to a night at the cinema.
Remodel That Kitchen!
How many times have you thought about remodeling your kitchen but talked yourself out of it because it just seemed like a lot of work? This may come as a surprise, but remodeling your kitchen brings great rewards. Rewards to the tune of 80-100% return on your investment!
It can seem overwhelming to remodel your kitchen. There seem to be so many things to consider that it can paralyze you from doing anything at all. But for your basic kitchen remodel there are really only five major items to consider.
Your Appliances Set the Stage
The first item to consider is your appliances. The look of your appliances really sets the stage for how the rest of the kitchen should look.
Are you after an ultra-modern stainless steel feel for your kitchen? Or are you more of a homey white appliance kind of family? Perhaps you like the flare of jet black appliances.
Give this a little thought and then get online or visit your favorite appliance store to see what's currently available.
Selecting The Cabinets
Once you've gotten your appliances and know the general feel you're going for, it's time to select the cabinets. If you're looking for ultra-modern, consider stainless steel cabinets. Glass doors can really give a modern edge to your kitchen as well.
If you're after a more homey kitchen, then solid wood cabinets with a rich wood finish will do the trick. For the edgier black appliances, look to flat faced doors with sharp edges and less country flare.
Now For The Counter Tops
Selecting the right material for your countertops is of vital importance to your newly remodeled kitchen. The color, texture and look of the counters make a real statement in the kitchen.
But even more important than that, the counters are the real work space of the kitchen and must be able to withstand what your family is going to put them through.
Granite is a popular countertop material because it's very durable and has a great finish for almost any kitchen design.
Faucets and Sinks
While the faucets and sinks make up a relatively small portion of the kitchen space, they can really make a difference to the look and feel of your new kitchen.
For a classy kitchen, rounded hardware with edges full of flare and a brass finish often do the trick. Again, ultra-modern design calls for stainless steel sinks and bold streamlined faucets. The homey look can be achieved with porcelain sinks and tall, rounded faucets.
Spending a little extra money on those faucets can really add class to the whole remodel. Going cheap on the faucets and hardware can dull down even the most expensive cabinets and countertops.
Finally, The Floors
Finally, be careful not to overlook the flooring you're going to put into your newly remodeled kitchen. As with faucets, going cheap in this department will really lessen the look and feel of the entire kitchen.
While grouted tile is not a necessity, if you go with linoleum be sure to find a quality pattern that isn't too busy. You don't want people staring at the floor the entire time they're in the kitchen. Hardwood floors (or great looking imitations) really add class as well.
Now, that wasn't so hard was it? There are really only five things to consider for most kitchen remodels: appliances, cabinets, countertops, sinks and faucets and flooring.
Start with the appliances to set the stage and follow through in the rest of your selections. Print out your selections from the web or clip them out of magazines and lay them out on a table to see how they look together. Getting a bird's eye view in this way will really help you get the pieces that fit best together.
It can seem overwhelming to remodel your kitchen. There seem to be so many things to consider that it can paralyze you from doing anything at all. But for your basic kitchen remodel there are really only five major items to consider.
Your Appliances Set the Stage
The first item to consider is your appliances. The look of your appliances really sets the stage for how the rest of the kitchen should look.
Are you after an ultra-modern stainless steel feel for your kitchen? Or are you more of a homey white appliance kind of family? Perhaps you like the flare of jet black appliances.
Give this a little thought and then get online or visit your favorite appliance store to see what's currently available.
Selecting The Cabinets
Once you've gotten your appliances and know the general feel you're going for, it's time to select the cabinets. If you're looking for ultra-modern, consider stainless steel cabinets. Glass doors can really give a modern edge to your kitchen as well.
If you're after a more homey kitchen, then solid wood cabinets with a rich wood finish will do the trick. For the edgier black appliances, look to flat faced doors with sharp edges and less country flare.
Now For The Counter Tops
Selecting the right material for your countertops is of vital importance to your newly remodeled kitchen. The color, texture and look of the counters make a real statement in the kitchen.
But even more important than that, the counters are the real work space of the kitchen and must be able to withstand what your family is going to put them through.
Granite is a popular countertop material because it's very durable and has a great finish for almost any kitchen design.
Faucets and Sinks
While the faucets and sinks make up a relatively small portion of the kitchen space, they can really make a difference to the look and feel of your new kitchen.
For a classy kitchen, rounded hardware with edges full of flare and a brass finish often do the trick. Again, ultra-modern design calls for stainless steel sinks and bold streamlined faucets. The homey look can be achieved with porcelain sinks and tall, rounded faucets.
Spending a little extra money on those faucets can really add class to the whole remodel. Going cheap on the faucets and hardware can dull down even the most expensive cabinets and countertops.
Finally, The Floors
Finally, be careful not to overlook the flooring you're going to put into your newly remodeled kitchen. As with faucets, going cheap in this department will really lessen the look and feel of the entire kitchen.
While grouted tile is not a necessity, if you go with linoleum be sure to find a quality pattern that isn't too busy. You don't want people staring at the floor the entire time they're in the kitchen. Hardwood floors (or great looking imitations) really add class as well.
Now, that wasn't so hard was it? There are really only five things to consider for most kitchen remodels: appliances, cabinets, countertops, sinks and faucets and flooring.
Start with the appliances to set the stage and follow through in the rest of your selections. Print out your selections from the web or clip them out of magazines and lay them out on a table to see how they look together. Getting a bird's eye view in this way will really help you get the pieces that fit best together.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
There may be days when you get up in the morning and things aren't the way
you had hoped they would be,
....that's when you have to tell yourself that things will get better.
There are times when people disappoint you and let you down,
but those are the times when you must remind yourself to trust your own
judgments and opinions, to keep your life focused on believing in yourself
and all that you are capable of.
There will be challenges to face and changes to make in your life,
and it is up to you to accept them.
Constantly keep yourself headed in the right direction for you. It may not
be easy at times, but in those times of struggle you will find a stronger
sense of who you are, So when the days come that are filled with frustration
and unexpected responsibilities,
remember to believe in yourself and all you want your life to be, because
the challenges and changes will only help you to find the goals that you
know are meant to come true for you.
Keep believing in yourself.
Your future is what you are in present moment now and who are you could be
in future are the action you do it now.....
you had hoped they would be,
....that's when you have to tell yourself that things will get better.
There are times when people disappoint you and let you down,
but those are the times when you must remind yourself to trust your own
judgments and opinions, to keep your life focused on believing in yourself
and all that you are capable of.
There will be challenges to face and changes to make in your life,
and it is up to you to accept them.
Constantly keep yourself headed in the right direction for you. It may not
be easy at times, but in those times of struggle you will find a stronger
sense of who you are, So when the days come that are filled with frustration
and unexpected responsibilities,
remember to believe in yourself and all you want your life to be, because
the challenges and changes will only help you to find the goals that you
know are meant to come true for you.
Keep believing in yourself.
Your future is what you are in present moment now and who are you could be
in future are the action you do it now.....
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Smart Position for your Company
|
Smarts strategies to achieve goals
|
How to succeed by recognizing the Good Life within Yourself
|
Smarts Tip To Make Your Copy More Interesting.
|
Sunday, April 22, 2007
16 Rules For A Fuller, More Effective And Anxiety Free Life!
Anxiety disorders over stimulate a number of bodily systems which would normally remain at a constant level. Digestion, circulation and breathing are heavily affected by anxiety and, whilst anxiety can’t harm you, efficient balancing of bodily systems is necessary for good all round health. The good news is that no matter how anxiety affects you, from mild shyness to the extreme manifestation of panic disorder, OCD and phobias, there is much that you can do right now to regain balance and peace in your body.
These are my top tips to live a healthier, anxiety free life:
1. Food
Diet is vital for maintaining general good health. Avoiding over spicy foods, too many carbohydrates, sugary foods and bad fats are the expected advice of dieticians world over, but in the quest for eliminating anxiety, it is vital to maintain equilibrium throughout the digestive process. Minimise sugar highs caused by sugary drinks and carbohydrates by eating smaller, more regular meals of steamed vegetables, fish, poultry and fruit. Avoid piles of potatoes, bread, biscuits and cakes, they produce fast, short lived sugar highs which can leave you feeling tired and shaky as the blood sugar level drops. The buzz word in any diet is ‘balance’
2. Alcohol
Whether you drink every day or in larger quantities over short periods, alcohol can cause anxiety levels to fluctuate dramatically. Many people find that wine is the worst culprit and that during times of high anxiety and stress, it causes much more pronounced symptoms.
Alcohol contains high levels of sugar which has obvious negative affects but also, the psychological affect of the experience of being drunk or tipsy can alter the sufferer’s perception of the world in a way which can cause higher levels of sadness, worry and other emotions. Alcohol consumption should always be minimised for maintaining general good health but in anxiety conditions and times of stress, it is advisable to abstain completely.
3. Smoking
Smoking can cause blood sugar fluctuations but also bodily changes caused by its stimulant affect. Smoking cessation is also not advisable during times of high anxiety, adding nicotine withdrawal to the anxiety you are experiencing could be very counter-productive indeed. If you smoke regularly, minimise the daily amount, if you smoke occasionally, stop completely if you feel you can do so with ease.
4. Posture
Good posture is vital to maintaining healthy circulation, digestion and breathing. Slouching can compress the thoracic cavity meaning that the heart, lungs and digestive tract have to work harder. Be sure to take regular breaks if you have to sit for long periods, use a comfortable chair and make sure you sit upright and squarely. There are many posture aids on the market if you feel that you are struggling to maintain good posture.
5. Exercise
Exercise is an important element of maintaining good health, but what you might consider strenuous could be a ‘walk in the park’ for die hard exercisers. If you are experiencing high levels of anxiety or stress, it is advisable to do exercise which doesn’t raise the heart rate more than 20 beats per minute above your resting heart rate. In many cases, anxiety levels can be adversely affected by strenuous exercise. Walking, cycling and swimming are the best forms of exercise during high anxiety but you must monitor how they make you feel which is dependent on your fitness levels.
6. Stress
What is stress? Often, people experiencing life or work pressure refer to this as ‘stress’. Stress is the physical illness caused by constant, inappropriate levels of life pressure. Stress can manifest itself in many ways including high anxiety, depression, gastrointestinal complaints and high blood pressure for example.
Experiencing true stress can be the result of making a bad decision. What is this bad decision? Anyone who gives work or life events too much credibility, allowing it to become invasive and damaging to the pleasures of life has made this bad decision. Consider what is important, ask yourself whether what you are doing or your lack of participation in something will cause any actual harm; prioritise your activities, make to do lists and take regular ‘mental health’ breaks. Talk to other people involved in your routines to discover whether what you are doing is productive or correct and plan ahead of time to avoid time allocation conflicts. In a sentence: Decide what is important and make that the focus during the time you allocate to it but remember nothing is as important as you and your loved ones.
7. Sleep
You probably don’t need as much sleep as you think in order to function efficiently during the day, however, for those who suffer with severe insomnia, there are many things you can do to promote healthy sleep patterns.
• Drink a mug of warm chamomile tea 30 minutes before bed time. • Make sure you are comfortable in bed – bad sleeping posture is responsible for many cases of insomnia • Make the bedroom a place of rest only. Put a sign on the door saying ‘sleep room’ to emphasise this. • Be sure and have a light snack 30 minutes before bed time, going through the night without eating is a struggle for healthy people, when you are anxious this becomes a bigger issue. • If you lie in bed for more than 30 minutes trying to sleep, get up, make a drink of warm milk or chamomile, make yourself comfortable and snug on the sofa, turn on the TV quietly and watch till you fall asleep… no action movies though… something semi-boring! • Try relaxation or visualisation CDs to enter a deep state of relaxation, these work wonders.
8. Environment & behavior
Your environment and your behaviour and your reaction to them, is one of the most important factors in the formation and perpetuation of high anxiety, it is the ‘software’ that feeds your ‘hard drive’ with the information it requires to ‘re-set’ at a higher benchmark level in your mind. You know what things in your life are positive and which are negative influences and the solution to gaining equilibrium is to implement a filtration process… we only live once, we need to maximize the potential of everything around us to feel fulfilled; removing negative behaviors and influences is key to our happiness and well-being and to re-programming the subconscious mind.
9. Relationships
Assess what your relationships bring to you, how fulfilling they are and how they could be improved. Decide how you can minimize the negative ones, maximize the positive and mend the broken ones. Being surrounded by happy people has an enormous impact on how we feel, capitalize on this.
10. Avoiding confrontation
Confrontation is the largest cause of elevated anxiety. As anger rises, so too does adrenalin which causes a flood of anxious emotion, thoughts and symptoms. Avoiding confrontation is simple, just remove yourself from the person who causes it, count to ten mentally, take yourself to a place where you can calm down. The only person who benefits from your anger is your opponent, every time you become emotional in these situations, you are reinforcing your anxiety and perpetuating how you feel. You hold all the cards, you can choose to stay or to go, to react or not too… it’s difficult, but, if you can turn the cheek, you will win out every time.
11. Avoiding ‘power sappers’
Who or what are power sappers? Power sappers are people who draw energy from you but give nothing in return. Avoid them at all times, they do not positively contribute to your life and serve no purpose. IF they are people that you can’t avoid, such as your boss or a work colleague, simply shut down your emotions when in their presence and do not allow them to influence your anxiety or mood… they sap your power to build their own and have no respect for you and your wellbeing. Surround yourself with ‘power givers’, you know who they are.
12. The past, present and future of you
You have experienced the past, you are living the present and the future is the only thing you can influence. Memory has a purpose; it’s a filing system for your experiences, both negative and positive. Negative memories need to be filed away in the archives of your mind allowing your opportunity to create positive memories to be your focus. Live for tomorrow, not yesterday and make today the first day of the rest of your life. Those who hang onto the past never experience a positive future.
13. Goal setting – your personal challenges
Take a blank sheet of paper and write down your short, medium and long term goals. Be realistic about your ability but stretch your expectations. Never be disappointed by your lack of achieving your goals, instead, be impressed by your ability to chase them. Try everything, take every opportunity that arises and regret nothing, it’s all part of the challenges and your personal enjoyment of life.
14. You time
Selfishly claim a section of each day, say 1 hour, to do things for you. You could have your nails done, have a massage or simply read a book, the choice is yours. Remove yourself from interruptions, from noise or stress and make that time yours, every day. Ask a friend or partner to assist you with this if need be… it’s the only link you have with the old you, pre-children, pre-work, pre-marriage… it’s your ‘grass roots’ time.
15. Confidence
Regardless of your ability or achievements, have confidence in the decisions you make and take responsibility for the consequences. Be able to apologise for wrong decisions and be prepared to adapt to changes. Confidence comes from not fearing the outcome of your actions, only you can take control of this but if you do, you will be able to do and say thing that are usually the reserve of super achievers.
16. Feeling fulfilled
Feeling fulfilled is the key to happiness, to anxiety free living and to enjoyment of each and every day. Feeling fulfilled is the result of a combination of realistic goal setting, removal of stressful influences and personal achievement, in fact every positive influence you can gather on your journey. Feeling fulfilled is simpler than you think and if you apply all the rules outlined in this list, you won’t go far wrong.
About The Author
Charles Linden, Idaho, USA
More Details about anxiety free here. Charles Linden, ex anxiety disorder sufferer and developer of The Linden Method for anxiety, panic attacks, OCD and phobias is also head of The Linden Centers International. Charles, 38, is married to Beth and has two children Charlie and Florence.
Charles suffered with anxiety for most of his childhood up until he was 27 years old which is when he ‘reverse engineered’ the solution which was to become his internationally renowned anxiety elimination methodology. Charles and Beth manage The Centers from their bases in Europe, providing support for English, Spanish, German and Spanish language versions of The Linden Method.
These are my top tips to live a healthier, anxiety free life:
1. Food
Diet is vital for maintaining general good health. Avoiding over spicy foods, too many carbohydrates, sugary foods and bad fats are the expected advice of dieticians world over, but in the quest for eliminating anxiety, it is vital to maintain equilibrium throughout the digestive process. Minimise sugar highs caused by sugary drinks and carbohydrates by eating smaller, more regular meals of steamed vegetables, fish, poultry and fruit. Avoid piles of potatoes, bread, biscuits and cakes, they produce fast, short lived sugar highs which can leave you feeling tired and shaky as the blood sugar level drops. The buzz word in any diet is ‘balance’
2. Alcohol
Whether you drink every day or in larger quantities over short periods, alcohol can cause anxiety levels to fluctuate dramatically. Many people find that wine is the worst culprit and that during times of high anxiety and stress, it causes much more pronounced symptoms.
Alcohol contains high levels of sugar which has obvious negative affects but also, the psychological affect of the experience of being drunk or tipsy can alter the sufferer’s perception of the world in a way which can cause higher levels of sadness, worry and other emotions. Alcohol consumption should always be minimised for maintaining general good health but in anxiety conditions and times of stress, it is advisable to abstain completely.
3. Smoking
Smoking can cause blood sugar fluctuations but also bodily changes caused by its stimulant affect. Smoking cessation is also not advisable during times of high anxiety, adding nicotine withdrawal to the anxiety you are experiencing could be very counter-productive indeed. If you smoke regularly, minimise the daily amount, if you smoke occasionally, stop completely if you feel you can do so with ease.
4. Posture
Good posture is vital to maintaining healthy circulation, digestion and breathing. Slouching can compress the thoracic cavity meaning that the heart, lungs and digestive tract have to work harder. Be sure to take regular breaks if you have to sit for long periods, use a comfortable chair and make sure you sit upright and squarely. There are many posture aids on the market if you feel that you are struggling to maintain good posture.
5. Exercise
Exercise is an important element of maintaining good health, but what you might consider strenuous could be a ‘walk in the park’ for die hard exercisers. If you are experiencing high levels of anxiety or stress, it is advisable to do exercise which doesn’t raise the heart rate more than 20 beats per minute above your resting heart rate. In many cases, anxiety levels can be adversely affected by strenuous exercise. Walking, cycling and swimming are the best forms of exercise during high anxiety but you must monitor how they make you feel which is dependent on your fitness levels.
6. Stress
What is stress? Often, people experiencing life or work pressure refer to this as ‘stress’. Stress is the physical illness caused by constant, inappropriate levels of life pressure. Stress can manifest itself in many ways including high anxiety, depression, gastrointestinal complaints and high blood pressure for example.
Experiencing true stress can be the result of making a bad decision. What is this bad decision? Anyone who gives work or life events too much credibility, allowing it to become invasive and damaging to the pleasures of life has made this bad decision. Consider what is important, ask yourself whether what you are doing or your lack of participation in something will cause any actual harm; prioritise your activities, make to do lists and take regular ‘mental health’ breaks. Talk to other people involved in your routines to discover whether what you are doing is productive or correct and plan ahead of time to avoid time allocation conflicts. In a sentence: Decide what is important and make that the focus during the time you allocate to it but remember nothing is as important as you and your loved ones.
7. Sleep
You probably don’t need as much sleep as you think in order to function efficiently during the day, however, for those who suffer with severe insomnia, there are many things you can do to promote healthy sleep patterns.
• Drink a mug of warm chamomile tea 30 minutes before bed time. • Make sure you are comfortable in bed – bad sleeping posture is responsible for many cases of insomnia • Make the bedroom a place of rest only. Put a sign on the door saying ‘sleep room’ to emphasise this. • Be sure and have a light snack 30 minutes before bed time, going through the night without eating is a struggle for healthy people, when you are anxious this becomes a bigger issue. • If you lie in bed for more than 30 minutes trying to sleep, get up, make a drink of warm milk or chamomile, make yourself comfortable and snug on the sofa, turn on the TV quietly and watch till you fall asleep… no action movies though… something semi-boring! • Try relaxation or visualisation CDs to enter a deep state of relaxation, these work wonders.
8. Environment & behavior
Your environment and your behaviour and your reaction to them, is one of the most important factors in the formation and perpetuation of high anxiety, it is the ‘software’ that feeds your ‘hard drive’ with the information it requires to ‘re-set’ at a higher benchmark level in your mind. You know what things in your life are positive and which are negative influences and the solution to gaining equilibrium is to implement a filtration process… we only live once, we need to maximize the potential of everything around us to feel fulfilled; removing negative behaviors and influences is key to our happiness and well-being and to re-programming the subconscious mind.
9. Relationships
Assess what your relationships bring to you, how fulfilling they are and how they could be improved. Decide how you can minimize the negative ones, maximize the positive and mend the broken ones. Being surrounded by happy people has an enormous impact on how we feel, capitalize on this.
10. Avoiding confrontation
Confrontation is the largest cause of elevated anxiety. As anger rises, so too does adrenalin which causes a flood of anxious emotion, thoughts and symptoms. Avoiding confrontation is simple, just remove yourself from the person who causes it, count to ten mentally, take yourself to a place where you can calm down. The only person who benefits from your anger is your opponent, every time you become emotional in these situations, you are reinforcing your anxiety and perpetuating how you feel. You hold all the cards, you can choose to stay or to go, to react or not too… it’s difficult, but, if you can turn the cheek, you will win out every time.
11. Avoiding ‘power sappers’
Who or what are power sappers? Power sappers are people who draw energy from you but give nothing in return. Avoid them at all times, they do not positively contribute to your life and serve no purpose. IF they are people that you can’t avoid, such as your boss or a work colleague, simply shut down your emotions when in their presence and do not allow them to influence your anxiety or mood… they sap your power to build their own and have no respect for you and your wellbeing. Surround yourself with ‘power givers’, you know who they are.
12. The past, present and future of you
You have experienced the past, you are living the present and the future is the only thing you can influence. Memory has a purpose; it’s a filing system for your experiences, both negative and positive. Negative memories need to be filed away in the archives of your mind allowing your opportunity to create positive memories to be your focus. Live for tomorrow, not yesterday and make today the first day of the rest of your life. Those who hang onto the past never experience a positive future.
13. Goal setting – your personal challenges
Take a blank sheet of paper and write down your short, medium and long term goals. Be realistic about your ability but stretch your expectations. Never be disappointed by your lack of achieving your goals, instead, be impressed by your ability to chase them. Try everything, take every opportunity that arises and regret nothing, it’s all part of the challenges and your personal enjoyment of life.
14. You time
Selfishly claim a section of each day, say 1 hour, to do things for you. You could have your nails done, have a massage or simply read a book, the choice is yours. Remove yourself from interruptions, from noise or stress and make that time yours, every day. Ask a friend or partner to assist you with this if need be… it’s the only link you have with the old you, pre-children, pre-work, pre-marriage… it’s your ‘grass roots’ time.
15. Confidence
Regardless of your ability or achievements, have confidence in the decisions you make and take responsibility for the consequences. Be able to apologise for wrong decisions and be prepared to adapt to changes. Confidence comes from not fearing the outcome of your actions, only you can take control of this but if you do, you will be able to do and say thing that are usually the reserve of super achievers.
16. Feeling fulfilled
Feeling fulfilled is the key to happiness, to anxiety free living and to enjoyment of each and every day. Feeling fulfilled is the result of a combination of realistic goal setting, removal of stressful influences and personal achievement, in fact every positive influence you can gather on your journey. Feeling fulfilled is simpler than you think and if you apply all the rules outlined in this list, you won’t go far wrong.
About The Author
Charles Linden, Idaho, USA
More Details about anxiety free here. Charles Linden, ex anxiety disorder sufferer and developer of The Linden Method for anxiety, panic attacks, OCD and phobias is also head of The Linden Centers International. Charles, 38, is married to Beth and has two children Charlie and Florence.
Charles suffered with anxiety for most of his childhood up until he was 27 years old which is when he ‘reverse engineered’ the solution which was to become his internationally renowned anxiety elimination methodology. Charles and Beth manage The Centers from their bases in Europe, providing support for English, Spanish, German and Spanish language versions of The Linden Method.
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