If you have looked high and low, left and right and even peaked around the corner and are starting to think that finding your perfect roommates is just not possible, think again. You can find the roommates you have been looking for by following the old saying "ask and you shall receive". Simply by asking the right questions, you can find the roommates that are right for you.
To be successful you will have to ask questions that help you to find out more about the people you are talking to about becoming a roommate - information that they may not tell you otherwise. This may involve asking some tough questions but its better to do it now rather than regret it later. Remember, you will need to live with your new roommates 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
By now you must be wondering what questions should I ask to find the perfect roommate. The questions you will need to ask will depend on whether you are looking for a room in an established household or are the one offering the room.
When you are offering a room, your questions will have to focus on whether the new roommate would fit in with you and other existing roommates. Here are some questions that you could ask that looks at the suitability of a person as a roommate.
1. Why are you looking for an apartment/house to share? 2. Have you lived with roommates before? 3. Do you like to entertain and have friends over? 4. Do you like to spend a lot of time at home or do you prefer to go out? 5. What kind of music do you like? Do have any hobbies or play sport? 6. What are your preferred food arrangements? 7. What would your ideal living arrangements be? 8. How would you contribute to the household? 9. What would you say would be your 3 worst habits? 10. What furniture would you be bringing? 11. How long would you intend to live here? 12. What are your future plans? 13. How much notice would you need to give before you could move in? 14. Would you be able to provide references, if needed?
When the tables are turned and you are looking for a room for yourself, the focal point of your questions will have to change. The questions you ask will help you decide whether or not you could live with existing habits and living patterns. Asking questions like the ones below will assist you when unlocking the real story to what lies behind closed doors.
1. How many people live here on a permanent and casual basis? 2. Do the people who live here like to do a lot of entertaining? 3. What are the arrangements when roommates want to entertain or have friends over? 4. Do the people living here, prefer to stay at home or go out? 5. What are the food and shopping arrangements? 6. How are decisions that affect everyone in the household made? 7. What are the responsibilities of each person living in the household? 8. What expenses make up the rent? Does it include electricity and water? 9. Are there any other expenses and if so, what are they and how much do they cost? 10. How often does the rent increase? Why has it increased in the past? 11. What happens to the bond that gets paid? 12. Who is responsible for the lease? 13. Is there any furniture in the room? 14. When would the room be available?
No matter what your current situation, remember the way to find your perfect roommates, is to ask the right questions at the right time. By preparing relevant questions before meeting potential roommates, you will find success and realize it is as easy as that saying "ask and you shall receive".
Good luck and happy roommate hunting!
Monday, July 2, 2007
Friday, June 15, 2007
How to Change Your Attitude Today!
Sure, it's easy to say, "Change your attitude and you'll change your life," but how do you do that if you don't know what to do? After all, if changing one's attitude was easy why don't more people do it? Especially if it means they could be happier, more joyful, and much more successful?
Honestly, I don't know. What I do know, however, is that changing one's attitude doesn't need to be difficult and, in fact, can be quite easy. . . . All you need is to consistently employ a few simple techniques and you'll be on your way. So, to get you started, here are my 10 tips to get you started on improving your attitude. Good luck!
1. Think like you want to be
It's tough to be happy, joyful, successful, etc. if you don't think that you are a happy, joyful, and successful person. Think it first, then do it!
2. Smile
There's no arguing with this one -- research has shown the smiling has both psychological and physiological effects. So, put a smile on your face and you'll be on your way to a change in attitude!
3. Immerse yourself
Read books, articles, magazines that help you understand and adopt the new attitude. Watch films or listen to music that inspires you and encourages you to change.
4. Change your actions
It's hard to change your attitude if you keep doing the same old stuff the same old way. Do things differently to start thinking differently.
5. Change your environment
Make your environment reflect the attitude you wish to have. Create the physical spaced that makes you eager to change.
6. Follow the leader
Find someone who already has the attitude you wish to have. Follow their lead, learn from their example.
7. Help others (and help yourself)
One of the fastest ways to change your attitude is to take the focus off yourself and to help others in need.
8. Get a little help from your friends
Let everyone know what you're doing and enlist their support to help you change and give you ideas. The more you feel like you're part of a group effort, the more likely you are to be successful.
9. Get a pro
If the change you desire to make is a big one or is extremely radical, consider getting the help of a mentor, counselor, or coach. These professionals can reduce the time & frustration involved as well as provide you with many new ideas to help you grow.
10. Be patient
Recognize that most changes occur slowly, over an extended period of time. If you don't get immediate results, don't be surprised and DON'T QUIT! Keep working, it'll come.
Honestly, I don't know. What I do know, however, is that changing one's attitude doesn't need to be difficult and, in fact, can be quite easy. . . . All you need is to consistently employ a few simple techniques and you'll be on your way. So, to get you started, here are my 10 tips to get you started on improving your attitude. Good luck!
1. Think like you want to be
It's tough to be happy, joyful, successful, etc. if you don't think that you are a happy, joyful, and successful person. Think it first, then do it!
2. Smile
There's no arguing with this one -- research has shown the smiling has both psychological and physiological effects. So, put a smile on your face and you'll be on your way to a change in attitude!
3. Immerse yourself
Read books, articles, magazines that help you understand and adopt the new attitude. Watch films or listen to music that inspires you and encourages you to change.
4. Change your actions
It's hard to change your attitude if you keep doing the same old stuff the same old way. Do things differently to start thinking differently.
5. Change your environment
Make your environment reflect the attitude you wish to have. Create the physical spaced that makes you eager to change.
6. Follow the leader
Find someone who already has the attitude you wish to have. Follow their lead, learn from their example.
7. Help others (and help yourself)
One of the fastest ways to change your attitude is to take the focus off yourself and to help others in need.
8. Get a little help from your friends
Let everyone know what you're doing and enlist their support to help you change and give you ideas. The more you feel like you're part of a group effort, the more likely you are to be successful.
9. Get a pro
If the change you desire to make is a big one or is extremely radical, consider getting the help of a mentor, counselor, or coach. These professionals can reduce the time & frustration involved as well as provide you with many new ideas to help you grow.
10. Be patient
Recognize that most changes occur slowly, over an extended period of time. If you don't get immediate results, don't be surprised and DON'T QUIT! Keep working, it'll come.
Your Mindset Determines Your Life
Your Mindset Determines Your Life by Sopan Greene, M.A. http://www.InspiredEnoughToChange.com
To keep at the top of your game you have to keep a clear head. You can't afford to fill up on news and negativity. The world's overflowin' with it and the only way to be a winner is to be in control of your thoughts.
Your thoughts become words, your words become actions and your actions become your destiny. Someone else came up with that, but I've always remembered it because it's true. Our actions show who we truly are and how shallow or deep our character is.
Where you are today is a direct reflection of the words, thoughts and actions you took days, months and years ago. No matter how much some people blame their parents,teachers, where they grew up, television, the government or anything else, the truth is that nobody got them where they are today but themselves. The longer we choose to not take responsibility for our lives, the longer we'll living uninspired lives that we don't love.
I've heard 40 year old adults who complain about their lives and take no responsiblility for what they've created. Give me a break. If you think you're on the recieving end of life you're mistaken and too lazy to do anything about it.
Simply think about the pictures you've seen on TV of people in third world countries. When I start to get mad about having to stand behind two people in a line at the grocery store I remind myself that a lot of people don't even know where their food will come from tonight. This shifts me from anger to gratitude.
The next time you notice yourself getting frustrated or angry about something in your life I invite you to shift your focus onto what's great in your life. It doesn't matter if you think you don't have enough money or you're mad at your dog for chewing up a shoe. Remember how much love you get from having your dog in the first place and how your weekly earnings are more than some people make in a month or year.
Keep your focus on what is working - for you and for others. We are bombarded with negative input all day long. We need to watch what goes in because our livlihoods depend on what we creatively crank out. Our heads need to be full of positive inspiration or free space where we can dream.
A recent study revealed that the people who watch the most television news are the most fearful in our society. Crime has been going down in America for over a decade, but since the news focuses on it and repeats it over and over, a lot of people are receiving multiple messages that the world isn't safe. These people end up being less confident and less successful as a result of being emotinally paralyzed to a degree by their fears.
Remember the old phrase "garbage in, garbage out"? If you Were asked to be on television based on the person you are today would be on Jerry Springer or Oprah?
Yeah, I know. You're probably laughing or snickering right now. I can practically see that questioning look of disbelief on your face.
You may even think that you wouldn't be on either one. Just imagine that there's a guy at your door and he's going to put you in a limo right now and you have to pick one show or the other to be a guest on or you'll be locked in your house for a month. (It's silly, but you get the point, I want you to get into it).
There's a definite difference between Oprah guests and Jerry's guests. Oprah's guests radiate confidence and have taken responsibility for their lives and have created lemonade out of lemons. Jerry's guests radiate low self esteem and think they're victims of life. Even worse, they think they have a right to inflict their negative self-defeating attitude on others.
Oprah people know that they're on the creative end of life. Jerry people choose to think they're on the receiving end of life. And the truth is that if that's what they beleive then thats what they get. It's an easy cop out to settle in life and a lot of folks do it.
It's important to keep a positive mental attitude nomatter what your life is like because nothing is more important than your thoughts. They determine how you'll experience the next minute, hour, day, week, year, decade and century. Rid your life of people and circumstances that don't inspire and enliven you. Life's simply too short to put up distracting drama and complainers who never change anything.
We all throw around phrases about how life is too short, but we don't live that way. Take at least one action today to reaffirm that you're creating a life you love.
Fire a friend who drains your energy. Read from an autobiography of a person who inspires you. Turn off the TV and write your goals and values. Take a walk in nature or with a friend who supports the best in you. Write a note to someone who has impacted your life in a positive way to let them know you're grateful for having them in your life. Rub your dog's belly and watch a doggy smile of ecstasy come out to greet you.
You're building a powerful future. Study successful people and you'll notice they all surround themselves with other inspired and successful people. Your life is your show, choose to be an Oprah person and aviod the Jerry people who show up in your life. Or better yet, treat the Jerry people you meet like they are the Oprah person buried inside them so we can all shine together.
Let your positive mental attitude infect everyone you meet and we'll all enjoy better lives.
----------------------------------------
=> Ready to Erich Your Life & Empower Your Spirit? <= Grab your FREE e-mail course: "How To Get Inspired Enough to Change??!" along with 2 FREE eBooks: "Inspired Enough to Change??: 8 True Stories About Real People" and "The Inspired Enough to Change?? Quiz" mailto:webmaster87-41205@autocontactor.com ----------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
About the author: Sopan is an author, mentor and teacher who is well loved and respected. Personal, compassionate, humorous, inspiring and full of innocent wonder; Sopan is skilled at working with people ready for change, raising their consciousness and upgrading their quality of life. His leading edge systems deliver results which many are joyfully choosing in today?s fearful, frustrating and stressful times. www.InspiredEnoughToChange.com
To keep at the top of your game you have to keep a clear head. You can't afford to fill up on news and negativity. The world's overflowin' with it and the only way to be a winner is to be in control of your thoughts.
Your thoughts become words, your words become actions and your actions become your destiny. Someone else came up with that, but I've always remembered it because it's true. Our actions show who we truly are and how shallow or deep our character is.
Where you are today is a direct reflection of the words, thoughts and actions you took days, months and years ago. No matter how much some people blame their parents,teachers, where they grew up, television, the government or anything else, the truth is that nobody got them where they are today but themselves. The longer we choose to not take responsibility for our lives, the longer we'll living uninspired lives that we don't love.
I've heard 40 year old adults who complain about their lives and take no responsiblility for what they've created. Give me a break. If you think you're on the recieving end of life you're mistaken and too lazy to do anything about it.
Simply think about the pictures you've seen on TV of people in third world countries. When I start to get mad about having to stand behind two people in a line at the grocery store I remind myself that a lot of people don't even know where their food will come from tonight. This shifts me from anger to gratitude.
The next time you notice yourself getting frustrated or angry about something in your life I invite you to shift your focus onto what's great in your life. It doesn't matter if you think you don't have enough money or you're mad at your dog for chewing up a shoe. Remember how much love you get from having your dog in the first place and how your weekly earnings are more than some people make in a month or year.
Keep your focus on what is working - for you and for others. We are bombarded with negative input all day long. We need to watch what goes in because our livlihoods depend on what we creatively crank out. Our heads need to be full of positive inspiration or free space where we can dream.
A recent study revealed that the people who watch the most television news are the most fearful in our society. Crime has been going down in America for over a decade, but since the news focuses on it and repeats it over and over, a lot of people are receiving multiple messages that the world isn't safe. These people end up being less confident and less successful as a result of being emotinally paralyzed to a degree by their fears.
Remember the old phrase "garbage in, garbage out"? If you Were asked to be on television based on the person you are today would be on Jerry Springer or Oprah?
Yeah, I know. You're probably laughing or snickering right now. I can practically see that questioning look of disbelief on your face.
You may even think that you wouldn't be on either one. Just imagine that there's a guy at your door and he's going to put you in a limo right now and you have to pick one show or the other to be a guest on or you'll be locked in your house for a month. (It's silly, but you get the point, I want you to get into it).
There's a definite difference between Oprah guests and Jerry's guests. Oprah's guests radiate confidence and have taken responsibility for their lives and have created lemonade out of lemons. Jerry's guests radiate low self esteem and think they're victims of life. Even worse, they think they have a right to inflict their negative self-defeating attitude on others.
Oprah people know that they're on the creative end of life. Jerry people choose to think they're on the receiving end of life. And the truth is that if that's what they beleive then thats what they get. It's an easy cop out to settle in life and a lot of folks do it.
It's important to keep a positive mental attitude nomatter what your life is like because nothing is more important than your thoughts. They determine how you'll experience the next minute, hour, day, week, year, decade and century. Rid your life of people and circumstances that don't inspire and enliven you. Life's simply too short to put up distracting drama and complainers who never change anything.
We all throw around phrases about how life is too short, but we don't live that way. Take at least one action today to reaffirm that you're creating a life you love.
Fire a friend who drains your energy. Read from an autobiography of a person who inspires you. Turn off the TV and write your goals and values. Take a walk in nature or with a friend who supports the best in you. Write a note to someone who has impacted your life in a positive way to let them know you're grateful for having them in your life. Rub your dog's belly and watch a doggy smile of ecstasy come out to greet you.
You're building a powerful future. Study successful people and you'll notice they all surround themselves with other inspired and successful people. Your life is your show, choose to be an Oprah person and aviod the Jerry people who show up in your life. Or better yet, treat the Jerry people you meet like they are the Oprah person buried inside them so we can all shine together.
Let your positive mental attitude infect everyone you meet and we'll all enjoy better lives.
----------------------------------------
=> Ready to Erich Your Life & Empower Your Spirit? <= Grab your FREE e-mail course: "How To Get Inspired Enough to Change??!" along with 2 FREE eBooks: "Inspired Enough to Change??: 8 True Stories About Real People" and "The Inspired Enough to Change?? Quiz" mailto:webmaster87-41205@autocontactor.com ----------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
About the author: Sopan is an author, mentor and teacher who is well loved and respected. Personal, compassionate, humorous, inspiring and full of innocent wonder; Sopan is skilled at working with people ready for change, raising their consciousness and upgrading their quality of life. His leading edge systems deliver results which many are joyfully choosing in today?s fearful, frustrating and stressful times. www.InspiredEnoughToChange.com
Thursday, June 14, 2007
One Person's Perspective
There has been this song, or at least a line of a song, rattling around in my mind this past week. I don't know for sure if it's from a Saturday morning cartoon, or Sesame Street or the Electric Company or where exactly I remember it from so many years ago.
The line is this: That's about the size, where you put your eyes? That's about the size of it. (It's a lot better sung than just reading it). If anyone knows where it is from, please let me know.
The song was about how we see things. About how differently objects appear depending on how close or how far away from them we are. It came to me Monday while I was out mowing the back yard. I started thinking about how small the yard seems today compared to when I was growing up.
Years ago, I would leap off the swing and begin running for the far end of the yard. Because it took so long to reach my destination, I would turn around half way and go back to the swing.
Today, there is almost nothing to it. Unless of course the temperature is 90 degrees, it has rained for a week straight, the grass is 2 feet tall, trees begin growing in the fences, the sun beats down brighter than ever before and the mower keeps clogging up because of it all. Then it is a huge yard.
It's all in how you look at it.
Speaking of how we see things, there is a danger in doing the same things the same way day after day. We become blinded to so much that is out there. Everything seems the same, looks the same, smells the same, goes by at the same pace, day--after day--after day.
We put ourselves into a sort of rut because we only see things in one way. While it makes us feel better to blame our job, our boss, our friends, our in-laws, the dog, telemarketers, co-workers, the weather, our pet rock or just because we were born under a bad sign for our life as it is, truth is, it has all been our choice.
Because in most cases, we have gotten ourselves into this, we can change it. To do it, we need to see things differently.
In Dead Poets Society, John Keating (played by Robin Williams) is an English teacher who wants to get his students to see life differently than they have.
To do so, he begins in a small way? by having them stand up on his desk in the classroom. It is just a classroom. The same classroom they have come to day after day. But seeing things from 29 inches off the ground can provide an entirely different view of the world.
Now I don't advise anyone to knock off everything from the dining room table and climb on top, just keep it simple. Take a different way to work, re-arrange furniture, change your routine a little bit. You'll be surprised at how different 1 hour can make things seem.
Finally, perception is something in which 650 words can not do justice. There is so much more to it than just seeing things differently, although that has a lot to do with it.
There are still our perceptions of ourselves, of our surroundings, of others, of what others think of us, of what we think others think of us and so many more combinations.
In a way, perception is who we are, who we can be, what we can do and where we can go. The best news? We have the power. We are in control. We can change it if we don't like what we see. As the song says, (and maybe a bit of a re-write can be used someday), that's about the size, where I put my eyes? that's about the size of that.
The line is this: That's about the size, where you put your eyes? That's about the size of it. (It's a lot better sung than just reading it). If anyone knows where it is from, please let me know.
The song was about how we see things. About how differently objects appear depending on how close or how far away from them we are. It came to me Monday while I was out mowing the back yard. I started thinking about how small the yard seems today compared to when I was growing up.
Years ago, I would leap off the swing and begin running for the far end of the yard. Because it took so long to reach my destination, I would turn around half way and go back to the swing.
Today, there is almost nothing to it. Unless of course the temperature is 90 degrees, it has rained for a week straight, the grass is 2 feet tall, trees begin growing in the fences, the sun beats down brighter than ever before and the mower keeps clogging up because of it all. Then it is a huge yard.
It's all in how you look at it.
Speaking of how we see things, there is a danger in doing the same things the same way day after day. We become blinded to so much that is out there. Everything seems the same, looks the same, smells the same, goes by at the same pace, day--after day--after day.
We put ourselves into a sort of rut because we only see things in one way. While it makes us feel better to blame our job, our boss, our friends, our in-laws, the dog, telemarketers, co-workers, the weather, our pet rock or just because we were born under a bad sign for our life as it is, truth is, it has all been our choice.
Because in most cases, we have gotten ourselves into this, we can change it. To do it, we need to see things differently.
In Dead Poets Society, John Keating (played by Robin Williams) is an English teacher who wants to get his students to see life differently than they have.
To do so, he begins in a small way? by having them stand up on his desk in the classroom. It is just a classroom. The same classroom they have come to day after day. But seeing things from 29 inches off the ground can provide an entirely different view of the world.
Now I don't advise anyone to knock off everything from the dining room table and climb on top, just keep it simple. Take a different way to work, re-arrange furniture, change your routine a little bit. You'll be surprised at how different 1 hour can make things seem.
Finally, perception is something in which 650 words can not do justice. There is so much more to it than just seeing things differently, although that has a lot to do with it.
There are still our perceptions of ourselves, of our surroundings, of others, of what others think of us, of what we think others think of us and so many more combinations.
In a way, perception is who we are, who we can be, what we can do and where we can go. The best news? We have the power. We are in control. We can change it if we don't like what we see. As the song says, (and maybe a bit of a re-write can be used someday), that's about the size, where I put my eyes? that's about the size of that.
On Failing To Discover The Meaning Of Life
We did not choose to be born. Without our permission, we were pitched into this world, to live out seventy or eighty years, to act out our unique scripts in life. Each of those millions of actions had a purpose. It achieved an objective. Just to pick up a cup of tea, or to become an accountant. Achieving objectives gave progressive meanings to our activities. The mason who felt he was just laying bricks was less satisfied than the one who believed he was building a cathedral. Finding deeper meanings satisfied us. So, it was but natural to gaze beyond our individual careers at the meaning of life itself. Greater satisfaction came from fulfilment of a nobler purpose.
Religion offered a a compelling vision of a divine and benevolent purpose. It acted in the best of all possible worlds, for the well being of all. If there was pain and distress, the beneficent deity had willed it to steel humanity to ever greater triumphs. Everything happened for the best. But, for a few people, there was a flaw in this view. Disaster was hardly necessary for improvement. The finest periods of creativity of the human race occurred during periods of peace and prosperity, not in times of famine and disease, or earthquakes and floods. It stretched credibility to believe that a hundred thousand people could be crushed in an earthquake for their own good. To sceptics, the world appeared iniquitous. But, they often avoided despair by accepting the random quality of life. For these, just fighting back gave meaning to life.
But, the religious sometimes failed to discover any visible benign purpose behind epic disasters. This troubled some. The sceptics, on the other hand, wondered if it was so weightily important to survive in the this all too brief span of time in this infinitesimally small speck in the universe. What was so special about survival, if the earth was to end a dead planet hurtling through black space? What was the purpose of all this suffering? Whatever their convictions, the search for a meaning in life troubled both the religious and the sceptics. In spite of their doubts, finding meaning was crucial.
The famed psychiatrist, Frankl, survived the horrors of the Nazi concentration camps, to narrate the dreaded moment, when a fellow prisoner ceased to struggle for life. Usually, the prisoner refused to go out on to the parade grounds. "He just lay there, hardly moving. No entreaties, no blows, no threats had any effect. He simply gave up. There he remained, lying in his own excreta, and nothing bothered him any more." His life had lost its meaning. Such people died soon after.
But, despite the meaningless torture and beatings, thousands of inmates still struggled against all odds to eke out a life. Frankl submitted that it was a purpose in life, whatever it was, which helped them to survive. These were not large purposes. A hope of meeting a son after the war was a purpose. Even a decision to harden oneself against suffering was a sufficient purpose. After the war, Frankl established a major field in psychiatry, assisting thousands of suicidal patients around the world to recover by discovering an acceptable purpose in life.
In reality, the need to find a purpose in life was built into our neural circuits. Emotions granted us short term purpose. Anger sought retribution; hunger, a search for food; fear a drive to escape. Each drive intelligently sought its own objective and rewarded its achievement with pleasure. The thrill one felt came from built in pleasure circuits fashioned by nature. Those circuits powered drives, which successfully achieved a range of survival activities in a complex and hostile world. The drive circuits carried within them a massive depth of experience and wisdom. The noblest goals of mankind and its most evil instincts were drives, inherited from millions of years of history. One of those drives was a search for meaning - an instinctual drive, like hunger.
Across history, mankind searched the heavens to discover meaning. Religions offered a wide range of possible meanings, each favouring a particular divine purpose. But, religion failed to find meaning in horrifying disasters. For the sceptic, without the support of religion, a fearful existence on a tiny planet appeared utterly pointless. Both suspected that life appeared to have no meaning. Where could we go from there? There was an answer. We had to understand this obsessive human need to find meaning. It was merely another instinctual drive. A craving. Such drives could be calmed. Just an awareness alone could still the need. After all, it was hardly so urgent to discover that cosmic meaning.
Freed from this need, it was easier to fit into society, contribute our mite and satisfy the demands of our minds. We could be content with discovering reasonable purposes. Frankl had proved that simpler purposes sufficiently enabled prisoners to withstand even the most meaningless excesses of life. Hunger did not demand that we gorge ourselves. A reasonable repast was sufficient to satisfy our craving. So also, it was hardly necessary to feast ourselves on understanding the global purpose of the universe. Just as there was little need to travel to a distant galaxy to satisfy our curiosity. It was enough to be happy with finding our own role in society.
Religion offered a a compelling vision of a divine and benevolent purpose. It acted in the best of all possible worlds, for the well being of all. If there was pain and distress, the beneficent deity had willed it to steel humanity to ever greater triumphs. Everything happened for the best. But, for a few people, there was a flaw in this view. Disaster was hardly necessary for improvement. The finest periods of creativity of the human race occurred during periods of peace and prosperity, not in times of famine and disease, or earthquakes and floods. It stretched credibility to believe that a hundred thousand people could be crushed in an earthquake for their own good. To sceptics, the world appeared iniquitous. But, they often avoided despair by accepting the random quality of life. For these, just fighting back gave meaning to life.
But, the religious sometimes failed to discover any visible benign purpose behind epic disasters. This troubled some. The sceptics, on the other hand, wondered if it was so weightily important to survive in the this all too brief span of time in this infinitesimally small speck in the universe. What was so special about survival, if the earth was to end a dead planet hurtling through black space? What was the purpose of all this suffering? Whatever their convictions, the search for a meaning in life troubled both the religious and the sceptics. In spite of their doubts, finding meaning was crucial.
The famed psychiatrist, Frankl, survived the horrors of the Nazi concentration camps, to narrate the dreaded moment, when a fellow prisoner ceased to struggle for life. Usually, the prisoner refused to go out on to the parade grounds. "He just lay there, hardly moving. No entreaties, no blows, no threats had any effect. He simply gave up. There he remained, lying in his own excreta, and nothing bothered him any more." His life had lost its meaning. Such people died soon after.
But, despite the meaningless torture and beatings, thousands of inmates still struggled against all odds to eke out a life. Frankl submitted that it was a purpose in life, whatever it was, which helped them to survive. These were not large purposes. A hope of meeting a son after the war was a purpose. Even a decision to harden oneself against suffering was a sufficient purpose. After the war, Frankl established a major field in psychiatry, assisting thousands of suicidal patients around the world to recover by discovering an acceptable purpose in life.
In reality, the need to find a purpose in life was built into our neural circuits. Emotions granted us short term purpose. Anger sought retribution; hunger, a search for food; fear a drive to escape. Each drive intelligently sought its own objective and rewarded its achievement with pleasure. The thrill one felt came from built in pleasure circuits fashioned by nature. Those circuits powered drives, which successfully achieved a range of survival activities in a complex and hostile world. The drive circuits carried within them a massive depth of experience and wisdom. The noblest goals of mankind and its most evil instincts were drives, inherited from millions of years of history. One of those drives was a search for meaning - an instinctual drive, like hunger.
Across history, mankind searched the heavens to discover meaning. Religions offered a wide range of possible meanings, each favouring a particular divine purpose. But, religion failed to find meaning in horrifying disasters. For the sceptic, without the support of religion, a fearful existence on a tiny planet appeared utterly pointless. Both suspected that life appeared to have no meaning. Where could we go from there? There was an answer. We had to understand this obsessive human need to find meaning. It was merely another instinctual drive. A craving. Such drives could be calmed. Just an awareness alone could still the need. After all, it was hardly so urgent to discover that cosmic meaning.
Freed from this need, it was easier to fit into society, contribute our mite and satisfy the demands of our minds. We could be content with discovering reasonable purposes. Frankl had proved that simpler purposes sufficiently enabled prisoners to withstand even the most meaningless excesses of life. Hunger did not demand that we gorge ourselves. A reasonable repast was sufficient to satisfy our craving. So also, it was hardly necessary to feast ourselves on understanding the global purpose of the universe. Just as there was little need to travel to a distant galaxy to satisfy our curiosity. It was enough to be happy with finding our own role in society.
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